Friday, August 1, 2008

Ta Da! (Free stuff!)

I would like to present the new and snazzy Honey Pie. Tsk, tsk…and you thought Darth Vader was my only secret crush. There’s a soft spot in my heart for vamps too.

(Please bear in mind that I'm still tweaking things around here. Don't judge me. Ha ha...that's so stupid. Hey everyone! Come look at my new look, but don't form any opinions yet! Hmmm...Okay?)

My first round of thanks goes to Pokémon Master Nick. Wait. Did I just write that out loud? Does he know I refer to him as that? I met him working the Pokémon tournaments at Aardvark’s. He's going to college for all sorts of fancy computer graphics stuff (stuff = things I don't know about computer graphics) and is the nicest guy you’ll ever meet. Or not meet. Because you don’t live in Maryland.

He did a bang-up job of putting this all together for me and I heartily recommend him for any of you other folks looking for a make-over. There's a banner on the right for nkirkpatrick.com if you'd like to check him out. But not in that way. Jeez, what a bunch of sickos.

You rock Nick!

I would also like to give a huge shout-out to Ms. Lisa Desimini who drew the original artwork which appeared on the book “Dead to the World” by Charlaine Harris.

Lisa allowed me to use her work and I can’t thank her enough for her kindness. And for not charging me anything. Because my car is in the shop, my dishwasher is busted, I have to pay Nick and I'm flat broke. I absolutely adore her quirky style and artwork. THANK YOU!

And now, for all my lovelies who kindly come to read my drivel each week – I've got some prizes for YOU to celebrate! Bring your friends! I’ll show you all the goodies and then you can leave me some love (or hate) in the comment section. Leaving hate will greatly increase the chance that your slip of paper 'accidentally' dissolves in a ring of coffee when I set my morning vat of joe on it. Puh-leeze. I was a statistician. I know how to manipulate the data.

Just let me know what prizes (that's right, it's plural) you'd like to be drawn randomly for and guess an answer (if you like) for a question coming up.

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Prize 1: In honor of a pretty decent vamp series with a new release coming out on August 2 (ahem... Breaking Dawn) we have:


Prize 2: With these bad boys, you can make your own custom-fit vampire teeth.



I like wearing mine on Halloween (and when I meet the kids' teachers or have dinner with the in-laws.) You too can enjoy this smaller, not-so-obnoxious pair. But to get these, you'll have to guess my favorite member of the Black Dagger Brotherhood. Heh heh heh... work a little people. Really, this s*** wasn't free. Winner picked randomly from those who guess correctly. Oh, and you only get one guess per person.

Prize 3: I'm guessing that the few male readers I have may not be interested in Twilight necklaces and such, but The Smiling Infidel can personally vouch for the following product:



We've got three bottles of this powdery butt gold to give away. End your chafing NOW by letting ME know you want to win the AMBP.

Prize 4: If chafing isn't your issue, but you still want to proclaim your love for Anti-Monkey Butt Powder - maybe a hat is more your style! I would like to give this particular freebie away to a regular reader/commenter at my blog.


Prize 5: And lastly, inspired once again by The Smiling Infidel's Hot Sox Exchange - you too can have a pair of the hottest sox in town.


I'll leave comments open until Monday at noon EST - just let me know what prizes you're interested in and I'll stick your name in a hat for what you chose. At that point I'll work up the winners and let you know. Unless I've had one too many gin & tonics on Monday night and come to the conclusion that Diesel has won every prize in an effort to suck up to the Big Kahuna himself. Can you buy a Smiley with some Butt Powder?

(It wouldn't hurt your chances and could possibly IMPROVE them in this completely random raffle to register your name over at Humor-Blogs and start clicking 'happy faces' next to any post with Honey Pie next to it. Thank you in advance.)

33 Comments :

Anonymous said...

I want either the hat or the socks. I'm not sure I entirely understand the question, but would be happy to go and smiley you to bits.

Anonymous said...

Bah, it would only let me rate 4, and the 5th one down was my favorite, "I'm pretty gangster myself."

Stephanie M said...

Love the look of your new blog - except Edward kind of freaks me out :) Its like I want to read Breaking Dawn but I don't.

Zenmomma said...

I'm definitely in for Prize #1. I would love to give it to my teen daughter. She doesn't get freaked out by Edward AT ALL. We're going to Borders for the book release party tonight.

Chat Blanc said...

Loving the vampy vampire look!! Sweet! And seriously, what's better than hot sox and anti-monkey butt powder?? definitely smiley worthy! So, yes, to answer your question, you can buy a smiley with butt powder!! :)

Meg said...

Love your new look!!! I'm eyeing those hot sox cause I need all the help I can get looking hot these days.

for a different kind of girl said...

Love the new look. It's a fun font, and I like the graphic a lot, too! I'm a big monkey fan. I just dig 'em. Except if they stink. Then no. No monkey. That powder probably doesn't make them stink. I'd say powder, but my eye gravitates toward those most perfect of socks...

Enjoy your weekend. I shall spend mine away from any and al vampires!

Soccer Mom In Heels said...

I LOVE YOUR NEW LOOK! So cool! I dig the artwork bigtime~! I didn't know there were real Pokemon tourneys~ we may have to look into that. I've been to Burger King 3x this week b/c the damn toy in the kid's meal is a Pokemon card holder with a few blessed Pokemon cards.

Lucy Filet said...

Love it all! The hat in particular! That's awesome!

And have you seen that my daughter, huge Twilight fan, has some SM autographed books - provided by Papa?

Marinka said...

Love your new look! But I miss your picture! good thing I have it hanging over my mantle! Just kidding, I don't have a mantle! ;)

Anonymous said...

Well, look at you! Congrats!

Holy Crappers said...

First, Love, Love your new crib!! GREAT JOB!!!

Secondly, I'm also loving the socks hon, if I can't get the socks I'll take the vampire teeth.
Have a great weekend

#1

Hey It's Di said...

Alice! This totally rocks! I am loving it and EVEN with my Twighlight party hangover from last night. (OK, no alcohol was involved in my hangover:/

I confess, I LOVE VAMPS (well Edward for sure) There I said it! So because of that, some vamp teeth would be cool.

Well, back to the book now:)

Alice said...

Marie - You're almost a shoo-in for a prize. Thanks!

Stephanie - Ack! No soup for you!

ZenMomma - You're so lucky. I'm still anxiously awaiting my copy that a friend picked up for me.

Sandy - Thank you, thank you! Why didn't I think of this butt powder idea about 3 months ago?

Meg - The answer to you looking hot (which you already are regardless of sock-age) is just to hang out with me. My Hanes wardrobe is just a bit shy of making me look like a baglady.

FADKOG - I'll put you in both drawings - you can be in which ever drawings you'd like to be.

Amy - It only gets worse. Stop now! Pretty soon you'll be on eBay like me snapping up the cards you need!

Kylie - I saw! Perfect gift!

Marinka - Aww...thanks. Maybe I'll stick a little version of it around for old times sake.

Ellie - TY!

Holy Crappers - You're in!

Di - I'm very jealous. Still waiting for a friend to bring my book on by. But at least I got the mowing done before the book came.

Robyn said...

OOO! Is that from a Harris Sookie Stackhouse book, or another one? So cool.

My daughter went to the release party at Border's last night, so she would loooove #1.

Anonymous said...

Oh I love what you've done to the place. I am a fan of series and as of today, reading the newest book..yeah! I'm throwing my name in for the Monkey Hat. A girl can never have too many of them. Besides, I can't wait to see my husband's face if I win it and wear it :)

Nanny Goats In Panties said...

Wow! Your new banner is gorgeous! I'm too new to qualify for the prizes, but I wish everyone good luck!!!!

Unknown said...

I love Chinpokomon. I got Shoe.

good story, now.......manipulate the numbers.........ready go!

Alice said...

Robyn - Yes, it's from "Dead to the World". And your daughter is in!

Suzel - Hah..now I really hope you win it.

Nanny - Not at all, come on back and let me know if you're interested in anything! Really!

Beau - I'm a little confused by your first line of comment, but I'll assume it means you want some butt powder.

gadragonfly said...

Since no one is guessing you favorite vampire I will, Phury. TL & I discussed it yesterday & we think that's who you like. If so she wants some butt powder. I wore my shirt yesterday. It was a big hit. Love the new site & so glad you got approval to use the artowrk. I guess I'll have to read those books too now.

Unknown said...

I'm so envious of the new look to your site!:( It's so nice to know another blogger who loves vampires as much as I do! Love the Twilight sage (am taking a temp break right now, but I'm down to the last 100 pages of BD), the Southern Vampire Mysteries (can't wait for True Blood to premiere), but Anita Blake: Vampire Hunter is my favorite!

You rock Alice!

Mary Witzl said...

If we weren't contemplating yet another move, I would be thrilled at the chance to win something!

By the way, I cannot manage to post ANYthing on Humor Blogs! I've written to them, but so far they haven't gotten back to me. Just so you'll know that once they fix that little problem, your score will go way up.

Bee said...

I love your new template! I too am a fan of the undead. I went through a pretty weird vampire goth princess time but only at night. By day I was mild mannered Bee. Uh, not really mild mannered...

for a different kind of girl said...

I'm hot for socks!

Manager Mom said...

Hey... new digs! Fancy. Roomy. Still has that new car smell.

I'd take the socks or the butt stuff. My feet and my ass are definitely the trouble spots nowadays.

Anonymous said...

Ooh! Ahh! Your place looks great! That was very nice of Lisa and Charlaine to let you use the art. I also love the font, especially on the letter "H."

P.S. I love socks, but I don't need to win anything to give you comments and smileys :)

Sue Wilkey said...

The hat! The hat!

Way to freak me out with changing your site - it's cool tho'!!

elasticwaistbandlady said...

I feel like I'm already a winner in the Smiling Infidel name dropping sweepstakes!!!!

Did you know that my girls went to the Breaking Dawn release party at Barnes And Noble with my SIL. Lauren wore her awesome Edward shirt you sent her and her vampire cape. She had teenage girls stopping her to fawn over her shirt all night long. :) Currently both my girls are sharing custody of the book and fighting over it. I already guessed the main twist as confirmed by Lauren.. That pisses me off because I'm taking it to Oregon with me to read this week and now I know the main spoiler.

Matt said...

They give away medals when you run a marathon....kind of like a "badge for doing something crappy." Is this the same thing for the "Twilight" necklace--for reading the books?

Just kidding...my wife is an Edward freak....even if it's still considered pedophilia if you're 116 and the girl is 16.

I still laugh harder here than most places.

Janet said...

I was going to say, your new header art looks exactly like the art on the covers of Charlaine Harris's Southern Vampire books (and I LOVE that art...in fact, it's what made me pick up on of her books in the first place...glittery vampires! So Marc Bolan!).

How's the book reading going? I'm on page 465 of Breaking Dawn...

JD at I Do Things said...

Boo! I'm sorry I missed your contest, but I LOVE your new theme and header. Very different and awesome.

JD at I Do Things

Queen Goob said...

I was going to guess your favorite of the Brotherhood but I already saw your answer. You take Phury, I get his twin! But let's not forget John Matthew, he's gonna ROCK!

Queen Goob said...

and i love the new look though I will miss seeing YOU everytime i visit!

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