Ta Da! (Free stuff!)

I would like to present the new and snazzy Honey Pie. Tsk, tsk…and you thought Darth Vader was my only secret crush. There’s a soft spot in my heart for vamps too.

(Please bear in mind that I'm still tweaking things around here. Don't judge me. Ha ha...that's so stupid. Hey everyone! Come look at my new look, but don't form any opinions yet! Hmmm...Okay?)

My first round of thanks goes to Pokémon Master Nick. Wait. Did I just write that out loud? Does he know I refer to him as that? I met him working the Pokémon tournaments at Aardvark’s. He's going to college for all sorts of fancy computer graphics stuff (stuff = things I don't know about computer graphics) and is the nicest guy you’ll ever meet. Or not meet. Because you don’t live in Maryland.

He did a bang-up job of putting this all together for me and I heartily recommend him for any of you other folks looking for a make-over. There's a banner on the right for nkirkpatrick.com if you'd like to check him out. But not in that way. Jeez, what a bunch of sickos.

You rock Nick!

I would also like to give a huge shout-out to Ms. Lisa Desimini who drew the original artwork which appeared on the book “Dead to the World” by Charlaine Harris.

Lisa allowed me to use her work and I can’t thank her enough for her kindness. And for not charging me anything. Because my car is in the shop, my dishwasher is busted, I have to pay Nick and I'm flat broke. I absolutely adore her quirky style and artwork. THANK YOU!

And now, for all my lovelies who kindly come to read my drivel each week – I've got some prizes for YOU to celebrate! Bring your friends! I’ll show you all the goodies and then you can leave me some love (or hate) in the comment section. Leaving hate will greatly increase the chance that your slip of paper 'accidentally' dissolves in a ring of coffee when I set my morning vat of joe on it. Puh-leeze. I was a statistician. I know how to manipulate the data.

Just let me know what prizes (that's right, it's plural) you'd like to be drawn randomly for and guess an answer (if you like) for a question coming up.

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Prize 1: In honor of a pretty decent vamp series with a new release coming out on August 2 (ahem... Breaking Dawn) we have:


Prize 2: With these bad boys, you can make your own custom-fit vampire teeth.



I like wearing mine on Halloween (and when I meet the kids' teachers or have dinner with the in-laws.) You too can enjoy this smaller, not-so-obnoxious pair. But to get these, you'll have to guess my favorite member of the Black Dagger Brotherhood. Heh heh heh... work a little people. Really, this s*** wasn't free. Winner picked randomly from those who guess correctly. Oh, and you only get one guess per person.

Prize 3: I'm guessing that the few male readers I have may not be interested in Twilight necklaces and such, but The Smiling Infidel can personally vouch for the following product:

We've got three bottles of this powdery butt gold to give away. End your chafing NOW by letting ME know you want to win the AMBP.

Prize 4: If chafing isn't your issue, but you still want to proclaim your love for Anti-Monkey Butt Powder - maybe a hat is more your style! I would like to give this particular freebie away to a regular reader/commenter at my blog.

Prize 5: And lastly, inspired once again by The Smiling Infidel's Hot Sox Exchange - you too can have a pair of the hottest sox in town.

I'll leave comments open until Monday at noon EST - just let me know what prizes you're interested in and I'll stick your name in a hat for what you chose. At that point I'll work up the winners and let you know. Unless I've had one too many gin & tonics on Monday night and come to the conclusion that Diesel has won every prize in an effort to suck up to the Big Kahuna himself. Can you buy a Smiley with some Butt Powder?

(It wouldn't hurt your chances and could possibly IMPROVE them in this completely random raffle to register your name over at Humor-Blogs and start clicking 'happy faces' next to any post with Honey Pie next to it. Thank you in advance.)