Sunday, July 13, 2008

Trainwreck Poker

I love home games. Everything starts on level and deteriorates from there. And there's nothing like deteriorating with people you know really well - to the point where the burps are rated and the guys aren't stifling the farts anymore. I even wore my special shirt. (back/front)



It's a bit hard to read since I've washed it often, but John's Poker System offers sound advice for the bargain price of only $2.99. Always follow a hunch, kids.

WWRS - At our tournaments, Ron contributes pearl after pearl of wordsmithery (eg. Are you done cryin' like a rat eating an onion?)

We haven't had a home game in months so we had high attendance on Saturday. And these people don't come empty-handed. You've got your coolers. And six packs. Bags of chips. The usual artery cloggers. I sorta wish Code Name: Lucious had come empty-handed.


I also wish Code Name: Mad Scientist had come empty handed instead of making me drink something foul called Twisted Tea. Twisted Tea - that I kept calling Texas Tea.

Alice: Yeah, I guess that's the Beverly Hillbillies.

Code Name: Plinko: Texas Tea is a penny slot. It goes like this: (proceeds to duplicate the bonus round sounds from Texas Tea slot machine)

Alice: You just failed the "When The Fun Stops" gambling pamphlet.

With so many people, we had three tables to start.


I was seated at this state-of-the-art poker table below. Take note of the sleek, felt top and buttery soft, padded leather railing.

I wasn't even that drunk when Code Name: Dunderhead eliminated me. That picture does not deceive. My AA did in fact lose to KQ suited.


We started a second tournament in which the deterioration was completed with the birth of Trainwreck Poker. Worst starting hand took the pot EVERY TIME. And then we drank some more and started screaming CHOOOO-CHOOOOO for every awesomely bad hand that won. Or if we just felt like yelling CHOOOO-CHOOOOO, which turned out to be every 30 seconds. And then you'd make a caboose joke. And if it didn't make any sense, that was OK because you could cover by yelling CHOOOO-CHOOOO again.

Trainwreck Poker apparently suits me since I took 2nd Place in that one. My theory is that annoying the competition made for successful game play. And by yelling CHOOOO-CHOOOOO, no one can tell if you're bluffing.

(This post written under the feeling of no sleep/cotton-headedness. Pole effing sana.)

(Pole = sorry)

(Sana = very)

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Ummm..vote for me on Humor-Blogs please. You have to have signed up with HB now to vote, so don't worry about doing all this if you're not interested in signing up.

35 Comments :

Sean C said...

Hey this sounds like awesome at a highly concentrated level. I like poker and I like it even more with fun friends. I would have had a fun time. Thanks for the invite.

Hey It's Di said...

Sounds like I missed a great game night! From the sounds of it you were all having a great time. I usually try to annoy the competition after realizing there is NO way I'm going win otherwise. It usually works! CHOOOO CHOOOO!

Kelly said...

Dude, I wanna come over and play poker at you pad!!!
I musta lost my invite in the mail..haha
looks like fun was had by all. Love the pickeled eggs

for a different kind of girl said...

I don't know the first thing about poker. I don't know the rules at all. I know I don't have a poker face, and I twist my hair all the time, so I definitely have "a tell," but I think this game night looks bad ass, and I'd be willing to lose my very small bank to get in!

Camille said...

I know nothing about poker--but it looks like y'all had a good time! Makes me want to learn.

Alice said...

Sean - It was a very pseudo-serious night. I was just so happy to be out of the house. Next time bud.

Di - You're a natural, hon!

Kelly - I truthfully don't think anyone touched the pickled eggs. I think that was a step up for this group and I'm pleased.

FADKOG - Yeah, the problem with our home games is that it only costs about $25 for a tournament so you don't feel overly bad if you drink, get stupid and lose. Join us! I don't drink at all when I play expensive tourneys.

Camille - It's fun and challenging (when you're not being silly). Find some fun friends to teach you.

Bee said...

Im not big on poker but I do like to heckle those who lose.

HECKLE HECKLE HECKLE!! ;op

Bee said...

Whoa! That was eerie!

Alice said...

Eerie because we were mystically on at the same time? I go through bouts of insomnia. What's you're excuse?

Bee said...

Insomnia too...

Kylie in Warsaw said...

Yeah, I don't even like poker and you've made me want to come to your games!

Philly said...

I don't play poker I play beer pong.

#1

Meg said...

You were drinking without me?

Alice said...

Kylie - Anytime kiddo!

Philly - Can you win money at beer pong? I only enjoy it if I can risk large amounts of money.

Meg - I was with you in spirit. As I grudgingly sucked back that Twisted Tea I thought, "Meg should be here to tell everyone how much this sux."

Adriane said...

That sounds like wicked good fun! I wish I could have come and made a fool of myself- I suck at poker but I always bring swanky gourmet homemade snacks.

Bobbi said...

Sounds like a great night of fun was had by all!

Cocotte said...

OMG - my grandma used to make homemade pickled eggs. Very scary looking to a child opening up her fridge!

Jenn Thorson said...

You guys sure know how to have a good time! It's like "Ocean's 11," but with pickled eggs and no George Clooney.

gadragonfly said...

OMG this sounds like the poker night I had a few weeks ago. Getting drunk makes losing a little better & being loud & obnoxious is always fun. I'll have to remember trainwreck poker for when I host the Poker night.

Alice said...

Adriane - You would be an anomaly. We've never had swanky homemade snacks. This crowd would be on them like flies. Hell, they ate my bag of Sun Chips I brought right off the bat and I never even got any!

Bobbi - : ) Oh yeah.

Cocotte - I'm not an egg fan to begin with, so these were especially puke inducing to look at.

Jenn - We're about as far from Ocean's 11 as you can get. (Love that movie.)

D - Yeah - it's not Trainwreck on purpose though, you have to let it happen naturally. As soon as 10-4 offsuit wins the pot, start choooo-ing and go from there.

Sparkliesunshine said...

This sounds like a lot of fun. I look forward to the stage in my life when I can have game nights with my friends and just have good drinks, good company and kick their butts at whatever we are playing.

(I'm highly competitive, but it's alright because I always lose anyway)

Sparkliesunshine said...

Oh Also - I signed up and voted for you! Good luck!

It also shamed me because I had to enter a name of a Marx brother, which I couldn't really think of so I said Carl, because of Carl Marx. Makes sense, right? Well I thought so and then it yelled at me and told me to get serious! So I had to google the Marx Brothers this morning all for you. I hope you feel special.

P.S. Of course I realized who they were after I saw the search results. I chose Harpo because I feel like her gets neglected.

Sparkliesunshine said...

He not her. Am I cut off from commenting for the day? I think I should be.

sista #2 said...

no poker here....just quarters



peace
#2

Suze's Sass said...

You are freakin' hilarious. Um, pass the chips would ya?

Mrs4444 said...

Sounds like FUN! Great for a summer night, too. Did you have to work in the morning?

Meg said...

OK. This is pathetic, I know. My post is there now (you'll need to scroll on 'more posts' and then scroll down even more). So do the right thing because you're ahead now and have nothing to worry about.

Amy said...

Looks like fun~ You have the serious poker chips and everything~ how often do you host these games?

Andi said...

My idea of game night is getting drunk on cheap wine with the spouse while watching our millionth hour of WPT or High Stakes Poker. Lame. Can I come to your next poker party? I didn't mean it when I said I was lame. I meant to say super fun. (OK, fine. There's no hiding that I'm a total nerd.)

MsCatalysta said...

that looks like quite the time you had going on! I want to come!!

LceeL said...

Sounds like an excellent time. When I go to this sort of thing, I almost always manage to get myself in trouble with SWMBO (She Who Must Be Obeyed), via the flirting or 'OMG you didn't say THAT' route.

ELASTICWAISTBANDLADY said...

I saw the most awesome thing at World Market today. It's called Poker Pretzels and they come in the shape of the four suits. So awesome. I was trying to figure out how much postage it would take to send a giant round plastic container to you and instead just gave up and took a picture.

ELASTICWAISTBANDLADY said...

I don't know how to play Poker. Would you consider hosting an UNO tournament in my honor? What about a Dora Memory Card game?

I pretty much own in both of those.

ELASTICWAISTBANDLADY said...

I'll see your 'you are freakin hilarious' commenters and raise you all of my 'LOL, you are so funny commenters.'

Yeah, we can play Comment Poker!

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