Sunday, July 6, 2008

Odds and Ends

BoyChild and GirlChild were working on some driveway art which involved paint splatters. I told them there was a famous artist named Jackson Pollock who created works that were entirely paint splatters. We looked them up on the internet. And then BoyChild pipes up, "Why is he famous then?"

Excellent my son.


BoyChild's first grade class kept journals this year. He brought his home and leafing through it, you would believe that the sole adjective in his vocabulary is 'cool'.

'Dear Native American,
I like you. I even lik your dance. I like your dance because it looks cool and I like the things you mak they look cool.'

'My favorite movie is pokemon and star wars because it's cool.'

'Ash is my favorite hero because he is cool and nice.'

I'm surprised that 'nice' made it into the description.

Here are some other words of wisdom from the journal:

When asked who his favorite famous African-American was, he wrote, 'my Dad because he is fun to play with.' (If that's not funny to you...we're white.)

Why are moms important? 'Moms are important because you would have no won to take care of you and you have no food and then you would die.'

And BoyChild's friend had the fantastic - 'In school I learned to speel.'


While perusing copyright law, I found this in their FAQ:

How do I protect my sighting of Elvis?

Copyright law does not protect sightings. However, copyright law will protect your photo (or other depiction) of your sighting of Elvis. File your claim to copyright online by means of the electronic Copyright Office (eCO). Pay the fee online and attach a copy of your photo. Or, go to the Copyright Office website, fill in Form CO, print it, and mail it together with your photo and fee. For more information on registration a copyright, see SL-35. No one can lawfully use your photo of your sighting, although someone else may file his own photo of his sighting. Copyright law protects the original photograph, not the subject of the photograph.

The more you know.

And lastly, while looking for some Pokemon info, I came across this gem of a site.

'It conditions the child who plays the game into accepting occult and
evolutionary principles. Haunter can hypnotize, eat a person's dreams, and
drain their energy. Abra reads minds. Kadabra emits negative energy
that harms others. Gastly induces sleep. Gengar laughs at peoples'
fright. Nidoran uses poison. The Psychic type of Pokemon are among
the strongest in the game. Charmander, Haunter, Ivysaur, Kadabra, and many
more evolve. The children are taught to use these creatures to do their
will by invoking colored energy cards, fights, and commands. Much of it is
reminiscent of occult and eastern mysticism.'

My family and I are DOOMED! Bwahahahaha....


Check out Humor-Blogs, the powers-that-be have revamped everything and I have no idea if it's even working.


brightmyer said...

Someone actually wanted to copyright their sighting of Elvis? We truly live in a strange world!

Alice Wills Gold said...

O.k. seriously, I just left a book of a comment that involved belonging to a cult because I am a Mormon, using my Christian fanatics defined cult membership as a justification for watching The Golden Compass and being sorely disappointed.

Said something about the ending being horrendous like The Lord of the Rings and loving George Lucas because he didn't leave me hanging like that for twenty years with Star Wars.

Blah blah.

So, for the second typed time...are you going to copyright your photo with Elvis?

Not Just Any Jen said...

Oh, my! I love these journal entries! When I was teaching, I would get a real kick out of the stuff my students would write. That stuff was the real joy of it!

Alice said...

Brightmeyer - I can't figure out if they left it in as a funny-ha-ha or they seriously get lots of inquiries from people wanting to copyright their sightings. So strange.

Alice - Did you leave your comment on the site I posted about? If so, I need to go read! And I think I only have a picture with a wax Elvis from Vegas. ; )

Alice said...

Jen - I soooo need to pull out the list of stuff all the PC Volunteers wrote down from their Kenyan students. Thanks for the mental jog.

Kylie in Warsaw said...

I laughed at the African-American comment,. I loved living in Syria and having the Syrians describe Sudanese refugees as "African-American". I would always tell them, I think they're just "African".

JD at I Do Things said...

Oh, that is good stuff. I'm sure the Native American was thrilled to learn about Pokemon.

And "(If that's not funny to you...we're white.) just made my day.

I love BoyChild's "speeling." He is going to go far (as long as his mom is there to feed him so he doesn't die).

JD at I Do Things

LceeL said...

The African-American thing was just absolutely funny. And yes, do be careful of the Pokemon guys - they WILL get you.

Jenn Thorson said...

Oh, those journal entries are priceless... er, "cool." :) BoyChild's going to get SUCH a kick out of those when he's older.

Veronica said...

I am giggling at just about everything in this post!

Robyn said...

Love, love, love the journal entries. When my daughter was in the second grade she wrote a novella about how 'cool' it was that two boys were fighting over her.

Janet said...

ahhhh ignorance...

damon said...

I lik this blog becaus it is cool and alice is cool two.

gadragonfly said...

I think it's time that BoyChild had some African American friends. He needs to branch out a little. :) Too funny!! The co-workers got a kick out of it. Babycakes is a lot of fun to play with though.

Hey It's Di said...

It's so nice that Boychild sees us all as one color. And boy, we would sure hate it if there were no Moms. I am sure the human race would die off. Lazy men:)

I am thinking that Boychild's friend needs some hooked on phonics. . . or a better school;)

Bee said...

Well *cool* is just about the coolest word EVER!
I'm originally from California and when I moved to Chi-town my friends teased me about saying "like, cool and dude" 20 million times in a sentence. Now I have the Cheecahgo accent so I'll blend. :o)

Big Momma Pimpalishisness said...

You should try to get him to expand his vocabulary- add words like 'awesome' and 'tubular'!

Variety is the key to life :P

Anonymous said...

Maybe your husband should run for office so we can have TWO African-Americans in the race for the presidency!

Caroline said...

I just love the fact that you call your son BoyChild! Great post.

VE said...

That is funny about pokemon...try and corrupt them all! ha ha I wish my sighting of Elvis playing checkers with bigfoot can't be copywrited? Damn...

Alice said...

Kylie - that's a good one! I was always amazed at how my Kenyan students would differentiate amongst themselves by how dark or light they were.

JD - I like you because you are cool. ; )

Lou - Bring 'em on!

Jenn - He'll either laugh or kill me for showing all youz guyz.

Veronica - : )

Robyn - Oh Lord, I can't handle the boy talk starting in 2nd grade. I'm scared.

Janet - That website had lots of ignorance. Go check it out when you're bored.

Damon - I like you too because you are cool AND nice!

Alice said...

D - Hey, both his 1st and 2nd grade teachers have been African-American!

Di - Sadly, it's the opposite in our house. Babycakes is a much better cook than me. We'd all die if he wasn't around.

Bee - I just can't picture you using 'cool' and 'dude'. Really.

BMP - I'm willing to expand it to ANYTHING beyond 'cool' but he's definitely my child and a lazy writer.

Coconut - Heh heh heh. Babycakes would make a poor politician anyhow, he's too easy to stare down.

Caroline - Thank you!

VE - Excuse me...I need to go and dabble in the occult with Pikachu.

Marinka said...

That's a fantastic Pokemon site and it confirms my suspicions!

My son is fuming with me because I keep calling Charmander "firebutt" (what? he has a huge flame on his rear end!) but now that I see that Pokemon leads straight to hell, I will use it as ammunition.

Always Home and Uncool said...

I knew Pokemon was evil! My kids are more obsessed with it than Webkinz now.

I frankly, I still don't get it. I played Dungeons and Dragons as a kid and Pokemon confuses me, let alone my +4 elf.


I totally laughed out loud at Boychilds journal entry skillz!

My 6 year old filled out a Father's Day card at church and one line said:
My Dad's favorite thing to do is_______

My son filled in "Go to my Uncle Tim's house so he can eat free food."

Jerseygirl89 said...

Reading your son's entries made me actually miss teaching first grade. Those were priceless!

Manager Mom said...

"speel" - holy crap, that made me spew some chunks.

That's funny about the Pollock thing. I took my daughter to MOMA and she looked very hard at a Rothko and said, "Is that art, Mommy? Because it looks really easy to make. But I guess if they have it hanging here, that means it's art."

Mary Witzl said...

I knew of an African-American family in Tokyo whose kid referred to skater Midori Ito as 'the black woman' because she was wearing a black leotard. I thought that was just precious. He and your boy could have had some right old chats about race.

And someone is trying to patent their Elvis sightings? Cool! Can I patent my red squirrel on a bird feeder sighting of last month, I wonder? Or my sighting of the lady down the block without her dentures in?

Queen Goob said...

I was laughing out loud and reading to my son boychild's journal entries. Spawn thought they were "cool". :0)

So....I went to the gem of a site about Pokemon and let me copy here what was written about the author of the statement you posted because I laughed me ass off: "Matt started CARM in October of 1995 to respond to the many false teachings of the cults on the Net when it first began." What, so this guy wanted to make sure all cult teachings were accurate so he taught them himself?!?!?! Ten bucks he's a WOW addict!

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