Saturday, June 7, 2008

Sad Short Tale of Funky Sneakers

I've got a pair of sneakers that are offending me. And not just a little bit.

I've worn these guys for at least 6 months when I was actually going to the gym and had no stink issues. I treadmilled. I elliptical-ed. Fresh as a daisy.

I wore them ONE time to do yardwork and now they have a funk that just won't quit. I offend myself when I wear them.

I made the mistake of wearing them to a poker tourney and started to get a whiff at the table. I went ahead and made preemptive apology to the table in case they were getting a drive-by whiff too. It's truly bad when you can smell them and your foot is still IN the shoe.

I threw them into the washing machine. Little impact.

I doused them with Carribean Mist Air Freshener. Now they smell like funk & coconuts.

I really should just throw them away.

---------------------------------
Humor-Blogs stinks. Like my sneaks.

18 Comments :

Tina said...

Hi! Try stuffing them with newspaper and leaving it in overnight - don't know where, but I just read that somewhere. The newspaper is supposed to absorb the odor...let me know how it works out. Good luck!

Robin (Bumblebee) said...

I thought you only wore Birkenstocks? I have never seen you in a pair of sneakers.

What does funk and coconuts smell like?

Robin at Bumblebee

Bee said...

Ha ha! I have 2 pairs of gym shoe-sandals that are FUNK-EEEE! But, I figure, if you're standing that close to me, well that's really your problem, eh? :o)

Alice said...

Tina - Will try anything at this point. Thanks!

Robin, dudette, I gave up the Birks about 2 years ago. And funk & coconut smells pretty much like what it says.

Bee - I like the attitude. I'm adopting it.

PraiseDivineMercy said...

This happens to me. Spray them with lysol, rub out the moisture with paper towel, then set them outside the door for a night and a day. ^_^

manager mom said...

Funk & coconuts = "funkonuts"?

I say we go with it.

I sprinkle Baby Powder in my smellies sometimes...

JD at I Do Things said...

It sounds like you're past this point, but I sometimes put fabric softeners in my shoes overnight.

But perhaps you need something more. Probably a new pair of shoes.

Coco-funk?

JD at I Do Things

Suze's Sass said...

See, that'll teach you to do yard work.

Tracy said...

My brother uses these Dr. Scholls odor eater balls that he puts in his shoes at night. He swears by them.

I'm kind of like Bee though, I wear my stinkers anyways. Who says comfort doesn't come with a price?

Hey It's Di said...

I remember when I was a dancer and I had some REALLY funky smelling shoes. They were so nasty I could put them in the closet under a pile of laundry and we could still smell them all around the apartment:( They were just so gross that I had to throw them away. And they were my best/broke in dance shoes too! *Sigh*

Sean C said...

"now they smell like funk and coconuts" hahahahaha funny. Oh and cockroaches are wa-ay less gross than spiders. I would even say hissing cockroaches are way less gross than spiders. Spiders give me the willies all the way up my spine. You threw the shoes in thew washer and they still stink?? crap, that's some super funk you got going on Alice. It's like fighting back like James Brown funk - except with out the good foot.

LceeL said...

Febreeze. Or trashcan. One or the other. Although I really don't like to see shoes thrown away. Annie buys New Balance (she has bad feet) and those buggers cost 130 dollars or more. Throw them away? Over my dead body!! Buy a CASE of Febreeze.

Alice said...

Thanks for all the tips guys! I'm going to try these out soon and let y'all know what ultimately got rid of the funk-o-nuts!

Shieldmaiden96 said...

Someone once told me putting the shoes in the freezer kills whatever smells.

It doesn't. It just hardens it, then it reanimates when you put your feet back in and the shoe cheese is riper than ever.

When my sneakers get odorous I just yank out the inners they come with,throw them away, wash and dry the sneakers, and put new inners in them that I buy at CVS.

That knocks down the specter of evil, but doesn't completely eradicate it.

ELASTICWAISTBANDLADY said...

Dr. Scholl scented sneaker insole thingies are too expensive. I think you should stuff a deodorized maxi pad into your shoe.

Jenn Thorson said...

Hm-- your irretrievably smelly sneaks has reminded me of a smelly souvenir I had to deal with once...

In fact, I do believe you have inspired a post, dear lady. I totally blocked out that Day o' Stink.

PS- what do you plan to DO with these shoes? Would Febreeze work or would the Febreeze just fly away shrieking?

That girl from Shallotte said...

I'm gonna try so many of these tips. Somebody once told me swabbing the insides of stinky shoes with vodka worked, but vodka makes me die, so we don't keep it in the house.

Bath & Body used to make an awesome spearmint shoe spray, but they discontinued it.

I'll admit it here under the anonymity of the interwebs: I am sweaty foot girl, and I seethe with jealousy at all my friends running around sockless in their cute little slipons. Bitches.

MadMad said...

This (and the deer fly story, above) is why I just don't go outside. It is just too much work out there!

Post a Comment