Thursday, June 5, 2008

GirlChild-san Catch Fly with Bare Hand

GirlChild has an affection for all things gross and uncuddle-y.

Ex. 1 - Tenty the Tentworm

Well, GirlChild is a new mom to two Fire Bellied Toads/Frogs (? - whatever they had at Petco) and we've introduced a whole new level of nastiness to the kitchen. I don't mean the frogs - they're actually pretty cool for a pet because they move around and watching them swallow a cricket whole is fascinating.


Sue - I had absolutely NO influence on the naming of these frogs as you are undoubtedly thinking.

The gross part is that I have to keep the meal worms in my fridge and a bag of crickets on the counter.


As is GirlChild's manner, a meal worm or cricket cannot go directly into the frog habitat. It must be manhandled, petted and played with and then out comes, "Mom...you wanna hold it?"



"No. Not really."

Today, GirlChild catches a fly WITH HER BARE HANDS! She's either that good, or the fly was that slow and stupid. I'm thinking of getting her some chopsticks and calling her Ms. Miyagi.



She plays with it, maims it and is now housing it in some random container where I can hear it weakly pleading, "Don't let her touch me again...kill me...please..." as it waves its crippled wing at me.

I imagine the frogs, the crickets and the meal worms are singing the same song. You gotta be tough to survive GirlChild's hands-on care.

Now based on all this evidence, can you tell me why she pitches a fit and screams "SPIDER!" when I ask her to turn on the outdoor water faucet?

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Click to see the Yellow Bellied Humor-Blog Frog.

25 Comments :

Suze's Sass said...

I had frozen brine in my freezer for a Beta fish that I didn't even like. Is Mrs. Miyagi good at waxing cars? If so, send her over - I'll pay her in crickets and worms for her labor :)

Kelly said...

Dude, your girlchild is rad..she's got some mad talent..catching a fly bare hands?!?.. karate kid never did that...
We once had a iguana named Kimaji..and that damn thing ate way better then we did..why is it that we bought all these weird, exotic fruits and vegetables..then took the time to unscrew alfalfa capsules to sprinkle over the little fuckers meal, then dice up all the veggies so he won't choke.. and yet my kids were sportin' some easy mac and popsicles..great logic huh? I did not like that scaley asshole..he whipped me with his tale one too many times and bit my hubs...he lives in my backyard in some random tree..good ridance..

MadMad said...

Are you tooling on my (Target gardening section) hat? Hhahaha! Just wait till you're old like me and have to keep the sun off your face or risk having sun spots that look even worse than the hat!

What's she gonna do with the fly, btw?

Sean C said...

sure because spiders are the most abominable, horrifying and ghastly creatures on God's green earth.

That's too cute. Little girls and their pets... and pet names. Thanks for pointing out the excrement Alice! I would have totally missed that!

Alice said...

Suze - Believe it or not, we have 2 Beta fish also, but luckily their food come's in a little shaker thing. Whew!

Kelly - Oooo - the lizards were soo cool at the Petco but I'm super poor and cheap right now. Can't afford all that temperature stuff. Does he really stay around your yard now?!!

MadMad - Hey - I wasn't mocking that hat, I love it! I may be going to Target this weekend.

Sean - I'm sorry, but the most ghastly thing on this green earth would be the cockroach.

JD at I Do Things said...

HA! GirlChild rocks. I think her aversion to spiders must have to do with their many legs. Many-legged creatures are automatically scary and gross.

"Prince Caspian" and "Susan." Love it.

JD at I Do Things

Memarie Lane said...

Today Max found a half dead ant on the floor. He put it in a basket and was carrying it around, telling it everything would be okay, and asked be for a little tine band-aid. And then he smashed it.

Danielle said...

eek. I think I just gagged.

Although I have boys and I can usually restrain my dislike for all things bug because I don't want them to learn that from me...

but...

eek!

Alice said...

JD - It can't be the leg thing since she plays with Roly Polys too. Go figure.

Marie - We should hook those too up for a big bug fest.

Danielle - I've done the same (except with cockroaches which I cannot abide) and I suppose it worked. A little too well. Bleh.

Tracy said...

In Girl Child's defense, spiders are scary! And Evil!

You are a much braver momma than I. The girls wanted to get hermit crabs but I swear one was looking at me weird so their pleas were denied.

I can do fish and a dog but that's about it for indoor animals.

Anonymous said...

Bravo Girlchild! Your Chicago twin rescued a junebug stuck on its back in a restaurant (so I prefer think it was a junebug) a few days ago. You two really were separated at birth.

Send Girlchild to Kelly's yard to catch the lizard. Voila! You'll get the lizard for free.

If you leave a mealworm in a little pill bottle of oatmeal and throw in an apple chunk every week or so, it will molt a few times, go into a weird morphing suit, and turn into a black beetle. It's cool. Don't let two beetles get together, however; I'm sure you're aware of birth rates in the insect kingdom. (That's why they're going to have the last laugh in this world.)

gizmorox said...

Frogs are smooth, toads are lumpy. That's how you tell them apart. I used to catch toads in my backyard all the time as a kid. Never once got warts, no matter what anybody said.

Bee said...

Ha Ha! How cool that she's not afraind of mean evil creepy crawlys.
And Tracy is right, spiders are way scarier than anything that walks the earth.

Sue said...

LOL! Maybe you just need to kiss Prince Caspian and voila! Thanks for the trackback. Catching flies with her bare hands? Sounds like she's ready for some blindfolded light sabre training.:)

Jenn Thorson said...

I'm getting images of GirlChild as the kid from "Finding Nemo" who is given a fish each year, which always ends up in the Big Fishtank in the Sky. :)

Pretty talented with that fly, though. You know, I have some that get in through mysterious means and linger for DAYS. Do you think I could borrow GirlChild's trap-and-dispose services?

PS--- SUSAN???

LceeL said...

She obviously has her priorities straight. Crickets. No problem. Meal worms? also no problem? SPIDERS? EEEEWWWWWWWW!!!! Don't send ME out there either!

ELASTICWAISTBANDLADY said...

I used to catch "fly" with my bare hands, too.

That led to an unexpected pregnancy. :)

ELASTICWAISTBANDLADY said...

Maybe Girl Child will grow up to be an Insect-ologist? (I freakin can't remember the right scientific name right now)

We get a lot of frogs around here. We have the habit of leaving our shoes at the front door to avoid further grossifying our carpet. (as if that's possible) Papi went to put on his shoes one morning for work and noticed he couldn't get his foot in. He kept trying and trying and finally shook the shoe upside down. This poor frog hopped out all lop-sided and drunk looking. He had also made a froggy urinal out of Papi's shoe while he was in there.

ELASTICWAISTBANDLADY said...

Have you seen all the comment hoopla surrounding your very generous Star War sock top benevolence?

I think every single person commented on the awesomeness. :)

ELASTICWAISTBANDLADY said...

And can I personally thank you for always reading my Infidel WOman Cooks blog even when nobody else does? THANK YOU!!!!!

Jenny, the Bloggess said...

"Prince Caspian". Bwahahaha!

That girl from Shallotte said...

(Doopy, doopy do, just reading along, thinking how cute GirlChild is...)

Me: AAAAARRRGHH!

Mr.Sweetypants, rushing into the office: What happened?! Are you okay?!

Ranidaphobia: The acute fear of amphibians. The more you know...

Alice said...

N - I feel a summertime experiment with meal worms coming on. Thanks for the tip! Pictures to come this summer I'm sure.

Gizmo - Thanks! We've got toads.

Sorry Bee - Cockroaches are the scariest thing to roam the planet.

Sue - I'm going to kiss our Prince Caspian frog right after I photoshop his head. ; )

Jenn - She is SOOOOO the girl from Nemo. How perfect! Only not as ugly and no braces.

Lccel - How many times do I have to tell youz guyz. Spiders good. Roaches bad.

Alice said...

Elastic - Great froggy story. After my stint in Kenya, I'm a firm believer in shoe checks. Ugh. I'm glad you enjoyed the Star Wars socks photos. I still wonder what the person who sold them thinks about my purchase.

Jenny - Oh come on...Prince Caspian is hot. What better way to remember his hotness than in frog form.

That Girl - That's an understandable fear. But I really saw a girl once who was scared of cotton balls. Muahhahhah...

Mary Witzl said...

Good for your little girl, not being afraid of insects!

We had frogs and toads in our washing shed in Japan. We greatly approved of them; they ate our cockroaches.

Our girls had pet stag beetles they kept in little cages. Their favorite was one called Bill. We all cried when he died. In the autumn, we had crickets. We never let them anywhere near the frogs.

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