Monday, June 9, 2008

Blog Lull Funk Randomness

I've been in a blogging lull / funk. I'm wondering if it's because I've was formally handed my ample backside on a platter at the last Pokemon Battle Roads Tournament where I placed DEAD. LAST. DEAD LAST - and that was with a Bye that counted as a win.

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My sister alerted me to this:


It's difficult to see, but on her Calorie Counter Quick List, they've included 'Ham Shank.' Because when I get the munchies and amble on over to the fridge, hoping that a pint of Ben-n-Jerry's will magically appear, I go for my ever-present ham shank instead and quickly check my Calorie Counter Quick Link to see how many points it's going to cost me.

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I went to Mike's on Saturday with some old friends, and while my crab cake sandwich was completely awesome, the sweat dripping down my back and the side of my face as we sat outside was not. The weather has been killer humid with some fantastic storms in the evening.

The winds started kicking the other afternoon and GirlChild and I went outside to round up the floaties that were flying across the yard. As she makes it to the edge of the yard, chasing one, the sky turns completely black, trees are bending at crazy angles with the wind and I start screaming for her to abandon the floatie and just get the hell back to the house before she's carried away.

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And last, but not least - Babycakes and I found this horrid little gem at the thriftshop for $1. We're going to find some perfectly anonymous wrapping paper and slip it into the gifts at his cousin's wedding next weekend. I'm pretty sure most of his family doesn't read this blog, but if you are...SHHHH...it's a secret!

We had some really horrible potholders once that we ditched at a baby shower and it was beautiful in that someone else took the flack for it. No one believed her denial. Muahhahahhaa...

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Calorie Counter Quick Link to Humor-Blogs.


27 Comments :

ELASTICWAISTBANDLADY said...

Ham Shanks: Part of your everyday nutritous diet.

It's the pickled pig's feet action that'll really blow your diet all to Hell.

Kelly said...

That statue is so awesome! haha you are bloody brilliant!

ELASTICWAISTBANDLADY said...

A Northerner complaining about humidity....oh, puh-leeezzzeee.

I live in a below sea level tropical inferno here in Houston. Just typing out comments in our 100 percent humidity makes me drip sweat.

ELASTICWAISTBANDLADY said...

Maybe the joke will be on you and Babycake's cousin secretly has an entire collection of random thrift store figurines housed in a showstopper crystal case with recessed lighting.

Jeff said...

Hey, if Ben-n-Jerry created a "Chocolate Ham Shank Parfait" you'd be all set.

Alice said...

Elastic - Calling me a Northerner is fightin' words! I'm strictly a south of the Mason-Dixon line gal and can claim former residence in AZ, OK, TX, GA, and SC. I think the worst humidity I ever experienced though was New Orleans. Bleh. That was terrible.

Kelly - Not brilliant, just evil-ish.

Bee said...

I love the anonymous gift idea!!! I love it so much I could slather it in mustard and eat it with my ham shank!

LceeL said...

You are SO special. Pretty, witty and diabolical, all rolled into one.

Jenn Thorson said...

That figurine is... wow... I mean...

Wow.

I thrift regularly and I have never seen it's like.

I'm okay with that. :)

Hope you get over the bloggy blues soon. I always enjoy reading your posts.

gadragonfly said...

The best park about the ham shank is when I googled it many un-food related topics came up like the Wiktionary meaning that mentioned nothing about ham: http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/ham_shank
Guess you could be burning calories doing that.

Tina said...

Thanks for the "stay cool". I'm trying. Temp in car today read 101 degrees for Pete's sake.

Love the figurine! Well, I love your plan for it. Looks like the stuff in my m-i-l's breakfront.

We had a set of the ugliest Christmas mice you ever saw that we passed along from family to family every Christmas for years until someone forgot. Now they're up in an attic somewhere. I just hope it isn't mine.

Hey It's Di said...

First off, isn't last the best of all the game anymore? So you were actually the best in coming in dead last I'm thinking:)

No wonder I'm not losing weight. I have yet to do the ham shank thing in my points.

The only humidity we get around here is in rain form. It has been freezing butt cold for being June and I'm hating it!

Love the cool statue and I enjoy giving away a secret gift like that.

damon said...

I say we all abandon our floaties!
Ham shanks are on Alice!

Bex said...

I wondered who would be the first among us to break into the Ham Shanks/Floatie/Creepy Figurine all in one blog post. I'm so glad it was you!

By the way, I love the figurine secret santa-ish gift thing. I'm totally taking it, yo.

terrilyn said...

I do WW with your sister and I was shocked to see that they have the points values for: Squirrel (1 oz=1 point) and Opossum (1 oz=2 points). So the squirrel is the better option here-

Alice said...

Bee - It's pretty cool. Especially if you can unload some crap that's been sitting around your house.

Lceel - Aw...shucks...that's the nicest thing anyone ever said. ; )

Jenn - Thanks. And I'm totally going to hook you up with the next jogging figurine I find. It's all yours.

Tina - You just gave me a fantastic idea for my next post. We too have a nasty little item that has been making the Christmas rounds. You should post a pic of your mice if you can find them.

Alice said...

Di - Last is only good for me in Poker. And yeah, we should all just start with some ham shanks in our fridge and do the Atkins thing!

Damon - Woo hoo! Party!

Bex - Do I get a prize? Award? Certificate? And do the secret gift to get rid of that terrible wedding present you got years ago (that I still have a little cupboard full of.)

Terrilyn - Mmmmm...squirrel and ham shanks.....

Alice said...

Jeff - I think I just got a little sick in my mouth.

The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: said...

My sentimental husband would most likely not even realize it was a joke and try to figure out who to send the thank you note to and then display the offending bauble on our mantle, which only serves to make this funnier.

Anonymous said...

I think you should combine your love of agriculture and your love of ham shank. Build a pen on that expansive backyard of yours and get yourself a piglet. Be like that returned Peace Corps volunteer in DC who found a sickly stray goat, nursed it back to health, and roasted it.

Or perhaps GirlChild would turn out to be like Charlotte, in which case you'd have that new pet you've been promising the kids.

Tina said...

Barking toads? You so need to post a video of that...

Mrs. Who said...

Ok, I have to confess that I had to look up ham shank on Google, because I wasn't exactly sure what it was. And after looking it up, I have to say. WHO would eat that? Or count the calories? Good Lord.

And the statue? I'm lost. Guess you had to be there.

Tracy said...

What exactly is a ham shank? I don't believe I've ever eaten one, nevermind eaten one as a snack.

I love your gag gift. Now I wish I had somewhere to go so that I could gift someone something just as special.

Mary Witzl said...

About the cousin who is getting married: do he and his intended deserve the figurine? Tell me they do! Wouldn't work with any of my relatives. They'd all be thrilled.

Half-Past Kissin' Time said...

LOVE the gift idea; you are brilliant!

Hayley Townley, Breast Cancer Survivor Extraordinaire said...

I am SO using the thrift-gift at every event I attend this year.

Improgging Fool! said...

Mmmm...butter.

Everything tastes better with butter on it!

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