Thursday, June 26, 2008

I'm Pretty Gangster Myself

If there was a problem, yo, I’ll solve it
Check out the hook while my DJ revolves it.

Yo BG! East Coast Baby!

Ice is back and ready for some action
Wearing slick pants just like Michael Jackson
Kickin' - the party is jumpin'
With the bass boomin' and my white socks pumpin’

My street cred on the scene
Bathtub Gangsta, feel what I mean
In the warzone with Snoop & Tupac
My flygirl, Barbara, got my back

Ice Ice Baby too cold, too cold...

Ice Ice Baby too cold...

I busted a left and I’m heading to the next block

Girls in the sand on the Maryland beachfront

Hot ho's goin' round topless

Gonna get me a piece of that hot mess

Jealous ‘cause I’m out getting mine

Barb with a gauge and Ice with a nine

Gunshots rang out like a bell

Grabbed my Pokeball, all I heard where shells

Falling on the concrete all I could do

Yo Pikachu… I choose you!

Yo man let’s get out of here

Word to your mother.


* Please visit the most funny Sue and her Bathtub Gangsta who very kindly said she didn't mind me doing this terrible thing.

** I realize the Pokemon featured is NOT in fact Pikachu, but I couldn't locate him. I figure most of you wouldn't be able to tell the difference anyhow.


Yo! Check out Humor-Blogs. True dat.


gadragonfly said...

You are a riot! Now go take those pictures for me & stop playing with your precious Vanilla.

moo said...

Found your blog through Tessie ... NOT SORRY about it!

Big Momma Pimpalishisness said...

Pichu- the evolution of Wichu and the evolution of Wichu is Pikachu.

So basically that's the grown up Pikachu right there.

According to the 7 year old boy at my house who's somewhat an expert at these things...

Also, I always feel particularly badass when I wear my white socks too.

Queen Goob said...

Yo yo yo Babs is a hot twist! Dip the bill and wikiup!

(Translation - My, Barbara is quite lovely! Maybe you two should grab a couple of cocktails before heading home!)

I hate to be the barer of bad news but I am SO gonna filch this and do something similar. That is some funny, FUNNY stuff!

Alice said...

D - Took them, and then idiot Comcast went down on me. Will send them NOW!

Moo - Welcome! And thank you!

BMP - *ahem* Did you mean 'Raichu' perhaps? ; ) You, me and a Pokemon Battle. Do you feel it coming?

Queen Goob - Oh Snap! (Thanks for the translation - gangsta stuff is hard for me.) I'll let Bathtub Gangsta know you're getting in on the turf war. Right after I pop a cap in your ass.

The Mom said...

That ROCKS! Sue is my hero with Bathtub Gangsta...but now Ice is joining the ranks!

This is the stuff I love!!

Bathtub Gangsta said...

Step off, fool. You and your has-been fool ass. MC Hammer-coat wearin' mo-fo. You want soma this? That's what I thought, bitch.

Anonymous said...

that's good stuff. i need those dolls for, um, my children to play with. not me. dolls are for kids.

V. Ice said...

Don't be hatin' BG.

Alice said...

The Mom - Yeah, Sue is my hero too.

Muskrat - EBay my friend. I bet I'm the only person who's ever purchased a Vanilla Ice doll and footless Star Wars socks for blogging purposes.

Memarie Lane said...

Please tell me you didn't do all that yourself.

brightmyer said...

Hi! Thanks for checking out my blog! I appreciate all the traffic I can get.

Half-Past Kissin' Time said...

Girl, you are a funny one! I've been voting, but had a little hang-up with the site before I left. I'll check it out this weekend. Thanks for your cute comment today. You were being facetious, right?!

Alice said...

Marie - My kids are at camp all week and I've got lots of time on my hands.

Bright - No prob! Welcome!

KissinTime - : ) That van was too cool!

Meg said...

I need to add that V. Ice doll to my header. I've got a Stone Brewery shirt I can trade!

Tina said...

Funny stuff!

adriane said...

I knew I shouldn't have passed up that MC Hammer doll at the yard sale last weekend. I picked it up like four times but couldn't rationalize buying it. I see my faux pas now.

You are the queen. More Ice Adventures!

Hey It's Di said...

Alice you are Hawt! I did know my Pokemon figures at one time but you know me and Alzheimers. You can fake me out with any of them now.

You make the most brilliant Ebay purchases EVER! And I have the proof:D


I'm packing some Spice Girls mini dolls. I think they need to make a blog debut soon!

Bee said...

HA! First you scared the beejeebus outta me when I clicked over. I didn't expect music but then I had to open another window so I could finish listening to Rob Van Winkylinky.

I hope you and so do a doll off. ;o)

Stacy's Designs 88 said...

You are Toooo funny! Thanks for making me laugh even when I feel too tired to do so. Thanks for visiting my blog. Aren't mangos one delicious treat! Someone said that it only has 130 calories. ♥ Stacy ;)

Alice said...

Meg - I'd almost make the trade if I just didn't fork over actually money for this doll!

Tina - Thanks!

Adriane - You PASSED UP an MC Hammer doll! Say it ain't so! I'd go back and try to get ahold of it. It's bloggin GOLD!

Di - I think I'm on some sort of government/eBay watch list now for making the world's most retarded purchases.

Elastic - Oooo...we've already missed out on the MC Hammer doll. Make sure you get those Spice Girls out of retirement!

Bee - I'll leave the music just until my next post. It CAN get annoying over time.

Stacy - Thanks, and yes - I had a sick mango fixation. Even made myself literally sick eating them. Sooooo gooooodd.

Humorplus said...

Wow.. wonderful!!

Jenn Thorson said...

All I can say is perhaps Alice has been too "Under Pressure" lately...

Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot, Ice DIDN'T steal the backbeat of Queen's Under Pressure after all. It was, what, a note different? :)

Cheers, Alice. You're crazy. Don't change.

gadragonfly said...

Maybe you can be the next Weird Al. You can be Weird Alice of the blog world with your wacky parodies. Your so imaginative, why didn't I get that family gene? You really did get most of the good genes. Brother & I got a split of what was left. Love you. :)

Rph Mommy said...

OMG, I'm crying. Too freaking funny.

Manager Mom said...

OK - I am scratching my head as to WHY they think we needed a Vanilla Ice action figure. What's next, Boy George?

But I'm glad they did, that was hee-larious.

Meg said...

How about a Michael Jackson doll?

Jonny's Mommy said...

Oh man. I'm laughing so hard, which is so bad because I'm at work.

Gotta go. Now. Boss coming. Gotta goooo! sir. Not reading blogs during work hours. Why? Honey Pie? Why it's a sting operation the Attorney General has put together to pick up prostitutes in our area. What? We live in the Middle of Nowhere? Where there aren't any prostitutes? Sir, I beg to differ, and I don't mean to be rude...but you don't get around much do you?

thecoconutdiaries said...

I saw that shirt at Spencer's! Now that there's a video, I'm gonna go back and get it!!

Alice said...

Humorplus - Thanks!

Jenn - Not under pressure, just lots of free time with the kids at camp this week! ; )

D - You forget that I got the fat gene. Totally awesome!

RPH - Thanks!

ManagerMom - Oh you just wait for the next installment!

Meg - You're tempting me, but I'm working on Ice's new outfit.

JMom - Ya know..I was shocked when I found out there were prostitutes in our podunk county. I guess there are takers everywhere.

Coconut - If you click on the picture, it will take you to an internet site with the shirt. So cool!


Vanilla Ice is a Texan. He's also a wife beater that wears wife beaters.

That doll should have come with a moveable arm that could do Ice's patented 'Bang, Whap, I gave you a b*tch slap' move.


I'm enjoying the powdery softness of your present.

For anyone else reading this, Alice sent me a gift this week and I immediately put it in between my boobs!


Anonymous said...

Weird Alice! That's fantastic! Funny runs in your family, I see.

Tracy said...

You wanna know what's sad? I didn't know that you were making up your own lines and I still remember enough of this song to go "Hey, those aren't the words there!" That's pathetic.
Where did you get your Vanilla Ice doll? Is his eyebrow shaved? If so, I need one so I can burn him for payback for making me shave stripes in my eyebrow that never grew back. That's where Trump came in.

jen said...

um, i HAVE the MC Hammer doll.
and i am so willing to send it to you so that you can have some more fun for me to laugh at. because honestly...i'm just not that creative.
just let me know.

Alice said...

Elastic - I'm working up a wife beater for the wife beater in addition to some other new wardrobe items. Hope your boobs aren't chafing!

Tracy - You HAD to be one kind of a hellraiser growing up. I think you're gonna need to put some pics up on your blog soon. I died laughing that you actually knew the Vanilla Ice lyrics!

Jen - I sooooo want the doll! You can e-mail me at zippyfinn (at) yahoo. com and I can send you my address!

Mary Witzl said...

Oh, I needed that! I've been laughing myself silly over that Barbie!

I agree with Gadronfly: you ought to start calling yourself 'Weird Alice.' I absolutely would.

That Pikachu-lookalike is enough like Pikachu for me. And believe me, I've seen a lot of the little SOB; my kids had every Pikachu card there was.

Shieldmaiden96 said...

That is awesome. And I'm not ashamed to admit, if I run across that song on the radio I never turn it off.

That girl from Shallotte said...

Oh. Mah. Gah. I was just about to go rollin' in my five point oh with my rag-top down so my hair could blow, but I read this and am dying laughing.

If there's a problem, yo Alice will solve it...

JD at I Do Things said...


I have no words. Good stuff.

JD at I Do Things

Kelly said...

Dude, I can't believe I didn't comment on this..
Toally think you and Sue should collaborate,make a gangsta movie on you tube..Picture BT Gangsta and V. Ice..gettin' with some hootchies.. carrying a boombox on the shoulder..yeah that would be funny

aeb said...

That's awesome! LOL!

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