Friday, April 25, 2008

High School Flash Back

What's funnier than going back through your yearbook?

Going back through your husband's yearbook.

This is not Babycakes, but a guy we'll call Steve who ended up doing a little woodwork for Chevy.

Babycake's yearbook is a regular Who's Who of people with the expectation of becoming millionaires while admitting in a public forum that keg parties and 'making out with Tina' were principle activities during highschool.

To be completely fair - I will admit that, through some retarded paper that I filled out in high-school that I SWEAR I DIDN'T KNOW WAS BEING USED FOR THE YEARBOOK, it will be forever known to all who gaze upon my achievements....(drumroll)...that I was Employee of the Month at Arby's. I present Arby's star worker and the poor sap who married her.


Here are a few schmoes that Babycakes graduated with. While I can hide their real names with MS Paint, there are things that can't be covered with a black line.

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Tragically, only Richard submitted his 'Thoughful' GlamourShot.


George was Amish. OK, forget Amish - you don't see fat Amish kids. Sporting a full-on beard, George was just barely tolerated by the cool kids and only because he kept the senior class knee-high in Pabst since he was never carded.




Matt is going to be "making mega bucks" and "shooting for the stars." I had previously thought that statement was strictly reserved for elementary teachers trying to motivate 1st - 3rd graders in spelling, but you go make those mega bucks, Matt! When you're done 'fooling around with Tina' that is.

Ted's mom plastered his hair into the comb-over right before the photo shoot and yet it still failed to draw attention away from the fact that Ted was lipless. I think the slight skew of his glasses is saying, "I'm destined for failure with girls." Ted is going to "work on puzzle" after high school. If only we all had such lofty goals.

Men...fill me in. How do you know if you want to be a gynecologist while still in high school?

Derek's ambition is "to become incredibly rich...with a touch of class." I'm sorry Derek, but with a nickname like Bubba Jay and declaring Skynyrd #1 - a touch of class is a touch out of reach.

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Arby's Employee of the Month (June) would like you to click on Humor-Blogs.


15 Comments :

Bee said...

I'm assuming Bubba Jay now does low budget porn.

Alice said...

Hmmm...I'm sort of upset that I didn't see that before you mentioned it. It's totally the moustache.

what's a donzer said...

Ohmygod, how I loved this. Freaking awesome, my friend. Where the HELL is Tina now? I would pay a hundred bucks to read Tina's reaction all these years later to being immortalized by the hottest Dragonslayer I've ever seen. Awesome.

what's a donzer said...

I just had to come back for more. By any chance, was Babycakes a member of the "Buzzed Crew"? That's a group that got far in life, I'm willing to bet!

Alice said...

Donzer - I'm guessing Tina is divorced from Matt or thanking her lucky stars she dumped him at graduation. She looks back on the yearbook and gets a little sick.

Babycakes was not cool enough for the "Buzzed Crew". His crew all ended their yearbook blurb with "Beatrice" (if you can remember the 'Beatrice' commercials.) Girls segment to come in the future...

ELASTICWAISTBANDLADY said...

Some of those guys had the hottest winged hair. They'd make Farrah Fawcett weep in envy.

ELASTICWAISTBANDLADY said...

You were never really the star at Arby's. That honor belongs to their ultra-delicious Horsey Sauce.

April said...

thanks, I'll be having nightmares about TED now....

Alice said...

Elastic - sadly, more boys than girls have winged hair. And no, dammit...I WAS the STAR! For a month. In June.

April - People (like me) shouldn't have to suffer alone.

Jonny's Mommy said...

Oh my gosh...so funny.

I agree about Bubba Jay..wow. What a porn star mustache!

Queen Goob said...

With guys named Bubba and talks of mud boggin's, answer me this....you grew up around the corner from me, didn't you?

Alice said...

J Mommy - yeah - how did I not notice the first time?

Queen - sadly, these folks are from Maryland. I call them fake-South or wannabe's.

I come from all over the place, but mostly claim Savannah as home. But the cracker-level seems higher up here for some reason.

Shieldmaiden96 said...

I commend you for not having a hairdo that contributed to global climate change. I'm pretty sure that Aqua Net could still be distilled from tissue samples of my scalp.

Sue said...

OMG that is hilarious - I commend you on the time you must have spent scanning for our amusement. Well worth it. Adding your blog!

Alice said...

Shield - I was never a big haired gal but I'm thinking you need to post your pic soon.

Sue - Thanks! The girls are coming next...

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