The weather has been uncooperative for yard work so I took advantage of a sunny day yesterday to mow half the yard. I also wanted to take advantage of the sun to bronze the bod, so you know I was lookin’ smokin’ hot when I shoved my t-shirt arms up under my bra straps. Pushing the shirt under my straps makes for something that can’t quite be classified as “farmer tan”. If I had been able to get the shirt symmetrical on my shoulders, then maybe. This is how I look now: I can say with authority that my forearms look fantastic. (The brown indicates ‘tan’ and not ‘hairy’.) There’s also a killer white ‘U’ on my neck where my chin was blocking the rays. Other outdoor news: A bird trying to fly away with some kite string from our patio kept getting yanked back in high comedy fashion since the string was wrapped around a table leg. He only did it about 50 times before we stopped laughing and felt sorry enough for him to cut the string up. I realize that by writing that little blurb, I have indicated that we leave old kite string trashing up the patio.
When I think I look bad on the mower, I cheer myself up by recalling the image of a neighbor with her old, yellowing puppy shirt tucked into her shorts and then pulled up to her ample bosom so that half the puppy was hidden in her pants. “Hey! I look like a freakin’ supermodel next to that!”
My artistic rendering is not able to convey her boobs warping the puppy’s head.
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5 Comments :
Better old kite string than old Clifford tees!
Hey! How do you know about my old Clifford tees?
I came here for humor and got a lesson in Art Appreciation at the same time.
Nice.
I take commissions if you'd like something inparticular. I work cheap too.
hey! I got that same tan yesterday!
side note: I know that's a really poorly written comment, but I saw in another post that you used the word "funner", so I'm assuming that you'll understand what I'm saying.
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