Ask Alice

Inquiring-reader Nancy has asked some important questions concerning my blog – I’m here to answer. Or create lies.
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Q: So what’s the backside of a blog look like anyway?
A: The backside of this blogger could use a Stridex pad. Oh…you said ‘blog’…awkward…

Q: Can you tell how many people are on at a given time?
A: Being the technologically-challenged individual that I am, I have still managed to push the correct buttons on SiteMeter to show how many people are reading. You know what they say about enough time, monkeys and typewriters. I can also both make AND receive calls on my cell phone now! I have not mastered turning off speaker-phone.

Q: Do you know who we are?
A: I can make an educated guess based on location. I try not to make educated guesses about the folks who were doing searches on ‘nude UNO’. Or maybe I am. It all really depends on whether my Mom is reading this right now.

Q: How many times a day do you check it?
A: When Alice finds something new and entertaining, Alice prefers to overdose at the beginning. Like when ‘Top Gun’ came out and Alice saw it six times at the movie theater and then bought the soundtrack and played ‘Take My Breath Away’ on continuous loop and then bought the VHS tape so she could watch the volleyball scene every waking minute not occupied by school or sleep. But as the newness wears off, I’m sure it will be less than the continual checking I’m doing currently. For instance, I only listen to ‘Danger Zone’ every OTHER day now.

Q: Can you see me right now?
A: No. Staring at the screen has burnt out my retinas.

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