Thursday, January 31, 2008

Higher Plane

I found a nifty site that showcased even niftier crocheted hyperbolic planes. Of course I needed one of those. Gotta get me one of them. And so I spent the weekend teaching myself to crochet.

I did this by visiting the local Wal-Mart and picking up "I Taught Myself To Crochet". Apparently men who want to impress their girlfriends can teach themselves to crochet also. But note in the picture that the woman appears to be working on a long multi-colored scarf, whereas the poor sap they hired to model as a male crocheter looks like he's punching a hole in his finger with a knitting needle. The look on the woman's face is "Whaaaaaat? Just stop before you hurt yourself."

Anyhoo...after my first few attempts that resulted in asymetrical starfish and misshapen wads of yarn that at least GirlChild appreciates - I ended up with a very respectable hyerbolic plane where n=3.

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Doppleganger Daffy

I have found the cartoon character that absolutely captures BoyChild when you piss him off. I confirmed this with Babycakes and aside from the fact that BoyChild isn't a duck, it is eerily accurate.

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Ethel's Dilema

I've decided to appropriate a story from my good friend Lucy who had this fascinating discussion with her Spanish class. Lucy is a vegetarian. I'll relinquish this dialogue back to her when she writes her book.

Student: So what do you eat at Thanksgiving if you don't eat meat?

Lucy: I eat everything but the meat.

Student: So you just eat salad?

Lucy: No, I eat everything but the turkey - potatoes, green bean casserole.....

Student: But what if they started making the vegetables out of meat?

: )

Wit from the Boy

For lack of anything interesting happening today - let me fill you in on the wit from BoyChild as we went to investigate our black eyed peas growing in the north forty this summer:

BoyChild: (looks in amazement at all the beans)...."Holy Crap"

Me: (cough...laughs) "Let's not say 'crap' when you start school...okay?"

BoyChild: "But I can say 'Holy Crapazoid, right?"

GirlChild had her very own gem earlier this week when she said, "Mom...FOCUS!"

Monday, January 7, 2008

Evil Christmas Toys

Jan. 07, 2008 - Coroner's Report
Subject: Barbie Island Princess Karaoke Styling Head
Estimated time of death: 01/07/2008 2:15 pm
Location of death: living room

Room appeared in disarray upon arrival of the first officers at the scene who noted a boy, seemingly unaffected, preoccupied with a Nintendo DS Lite and a small girl, age 4, crying over the remains of the subject.

Toxicology report notes traces of Mabelline ExpressFinish "Pink Shock" nail polish and Dollar Store lipstick found on right cheek and neck.

2 inch battery acid burn runs parallel to spinal column along the back of neck, due in part to blunt force trauma at the base of the skull - maximum of two strikes. Weapon would appear to be wood due to splinters located under the skin (wooden spoon?) Batteries and volume knob have been forcibly removed, no prints on subject. Batteries and knob have not been recovered from crime scene at the time of this report.

Ligature marks indicate strangulation from microphone cord as cause of death.