To distract my brain from mind-numbing words like ‘maximum likelihood estimation’ during my too-long school career, I competed in just about every intramural sport they put out. I played volleyball, wally-ball and basketball. I know there were other 'sports' but they’ve apparently been suppressed, probably due to lame sounding names like Intramural Speed Typing. First Place eluded me. I would walk around the office, ranting that I wasn’t leaving this school until I won SOME/ANY intramural event... even Intramural Word Search.
Come spring, we put together our/my last and final attempt at a win – the Statistics Department Intramural Softball Team. It may not strike fear into your heart, but it should. No one does baseball/softball like statisticians. People who love numbers, love baseball and play accordingly. Our professors came out of the woodwork to join the team and showed up, ready to play with their tube socks and ‘70s too-short-shorts. From the waist down, they dressed a lot like Kareem, but could hit and field like the pros.
Finally. I could taste victory. We named our team ‘The BUE’s’ for ‘Best Unbiased Estimators.’ We embraced our inner-nerd. Fear us and fear our cryptic name!
We played well through the season and made it to the finals.... against the Library Science team. Whaaaa?!? *snort* Library Science? Snap. My victory is in the bag.
Daisy Duke steps up to bat for Library Science. She’s got on her namesake shorts and a white, frilly top. We all move in. Then Daisy hits it outta the park. We were doomed and I’ll sum up by saying that I never achieved my goal of winning an intramural award, but my fellow teammates made up for it with this:
The smallish circled word underneath says: (almost). Thanks guys!
Loser of the Intramural Humor-Blog Caption Contest