Monday, June 16, 2008

Intramural Losing Streak

To distract my brain from mind-numbing words like ‘maximum likelihood estimation’ during my too-long school career, I competed in just about every intramural sport they put out. I played volleyball, wally-ball and basketball. I know there were other 'sports' but they’ve apparently been suppressed, probably due to lame sounding names like Intramural Speed Typing. First Place eluded me. I would walk around the office, ranting that I wasn’t leaving this school until I won SOME/ANY intramural event... even Intramural Word Search.

Come spring, we put together our/my last and final attempt at a win – the Statistics Department Intramural Softball Team. It may not strike fear into your heart, but it should. No one does baseball/softball like statisticians. People who love numbers, love baseball and play accordingly. Our professors came out of the woodwork to join the team and showed up, ready to play with their tube socks and ‘70s too-short-shorts. From the waist down, they dressed a lot like Kareem, but could hit and field like the pros.

Finally. I could taste victory. We named our team ‘The BUE’s’ for ‘Best Unbiased Estimators.’ We embraced our inner-nerd. Fear us and fear our cryptic name!

We played well through the season and made it to the finals.... against the Library Science team. Whaaaa?!? *snort* Library Science? Snap. My victory is in the bag.

Daisy Duke steps up to bat for Library Science. She’s got on her namesake shorts and a white, frilly top. We all move in. Then Daisy hits it outta the park. We were doomed and I’ll sum up by saying that I never achieved my goal of winning an intramural award, but my fellow teammates made up for it with this:


The smallish circled word underneath says: (almost). Thanks guys!

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Loser of the Intramural Humor-Blog Caption Contest

19 Comments :

Kelly said...

haha that's funny...damn those librarians...
wishing you your moment to shine and completly kick their ass. :)

Manager Mom said...

Geek Sports Humor! What could be better. Um, except I could have lived without the image of that many sets of pasty man-legs crammed in old school shorty shorts...

Suze's Sass said...

I once got a trophy for bowling. It was a tombstone and said "here lies the last place team". I feel your pain.

BTW, working at a library I could've told you that although we look like nerds, we hit the freakin' ball like Babe Ruth :)

Shally said...

I will now remember to watch out for those stinkin librarians! :)

Alice said...

Kelly - Yeah, but it's all good. I'm sure we made up for the loss in the beer realm afterwards. ; )

Manager - I could have lived without that too.

Suze - Hey...I'd have even taken a tombstone trophy...you ball-poundin' librarian...grrr..

Shally - Just on the softball field, I'm sure - they're damned helpful in the library!

Tracy said...

Yeah, here's the thing, you used a lot of big words in this here post. A LOT!
But I say congrats on almost being a *insert big word here* champion.

Honestly, I kind of like the almost shirt better than a real one!

Jenn Thorson said...

That's awesome... an excellent tale of underdoggism, team-spirit, embracing the inner nerd and America's Favorite Past-time. Disney should be calling you for the movie rights at any moment. :)

Bee said...

HA HA!! That is too funny! You guys really knew how to have fun! And the T-Shirt is brilliant!

ELASTICWAISTBANDLADY said...

Nothing beats the fast paced action of the exciting new sport sweeping the nation's schools.....Speed Cup Stacking.

I know people love it but I still think stacking cups is pretty freakin lame.

I think the Feminist Convention should sponsor a Speed DIVA Menstrual Cup Stacking Tournament. :)

Bex said...

There is a girl at my gym who wears a shirt that says, "I'm (almost) skinny". I want the shirt. I need the shirt. But she's bigger than me. So I'll continue coveting but not having. Sigh.

Shieldmaiden96 said...

I have a t-shirt that I got from the Onion that says "I wish someone would do something about how fat I am". I LOVE wearing it to the gym. People don't know what to look at. Or if they should laugh.

Hey It's Di said...

I'm sure you beat out the Accountants though right? Talk about complete nerds! I am still just impressed that you could master statistics! I about died in those classes:(

You are first in my book. I just haven't written the book yet. . . I'll get right on it!

Alice said...

Tracy - LOL, big words hurt my brain now too which is why I read a lot of stuff with shirtless men on the cover.

Jenn - Ya think? I could always use the extra cash and would be willing to go pretty low.

Bee - When the stuff you're studying is about as exciting as watching paste dry, you need to make your own entertainment. ; )

And ya know what Elastic? I totally would have participated in Intramural Cup Stacking. And lost.

Bex - There's a pic on the internet of this HUGE HUGE man with a shirt that says - "I beat anorexia." Love it!

Alice said...

Shieldmaiden - Again..a great shirt! See previous response to Bex about the anorexia shirt - I think you'll appreciate it.

Di - Hey! And thanks for my first award! Woo hoo! And rest assured that any statistics I may have learned is no longer residing in my brain. I look back on my old notes and books and think "What is this..Russian?"

Camille said...

How funny to add the "(almost)" at the bottom. Good luck with your quest to win something.

Mary Witzl said...

You made me laugh with this one, and you almost made me like the sound of baseball, for which you definitely deserve an award.

I love that shirt. That 'almost' is wonderful. Now I'm thinking of all the times I almost managed to hit the ball -- a dizzying number!

That girl from Shallotte said...

Freakin' awesome shirt. Wish I could go back and create one for my (imaginary) college intramural team, the pallid, chainsmoking, Morissey-quoting English majors: "So what you won. You'll never understand our pain."

Rph Mommy said...

Freaking hilarious. I embrace my inner geek on a daily basis. Love it.

gizmorox said...

That's a nice Groundhog Day themed word search you've got there. Heh.

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