Saturday, May 24, 2008

Late Night Poker-Didn't-Even-Know-Her Rant

Y'all are getting my bad beat story right now, because it's my blog and I want to and because telling bad beat stories is what poker players do best. Too bad no one likes to listen to them because they are only variations on a theme that you've already seen or experienced a thousand times before.

I sat on my ass for six hours in a poker tournament, playing shrewdly and cultivating my puny stack since I had crap cards all afternoon. I had to endure a linguistics debate between two rednecks during one of the breaks. The two cute regulars didn't show and I didn't even drink any beer. And then I finally get AA with two all-in callers. I'll shorten the story to the point where I say that my two callers BOTH ended up with better hands than me and I had to physically force my arm from my side to shake hands before storming out. I finished 20th out of 62.

Losing with AA always blows and I worked up a pretty good rage on the ride home. Do you know what kills a good rage? Yeah, that's right ... Cat Stevens and "The Wind" popping up during your iPod shuffle.

And while I'm ranting, do you know what else I hate? That 85% of all Marylanders drive in the passing lane. It's the honest truth and take it from a girl who drives to Georgia at least twice a year - once you pass into North Carolina - it's like a whole new world. People ACTUALLY stay right except to pass. I give a big thumbs up to all North Carolina, South Carolina and Georgia drivers and the fact that I can travel in a pack going 80 mph with no prob.

With Cat Stevens luring me out of my rage and the freaks in the left hand lane spurring me back on, the ride home was a little too trippy for my liking. In fact this post is getting a little trippy for me and the Salt-n-Vinegar chips I was eating just tore up my mouth so I had to eat some Kix cereal to counteract that, but now I feel all bloaty.

To end my rant, my poor sock swapee, Diana, is probably crying because I haven't sent out her socks yet because of the stoopid eBay person - and here's proof in case you don't believe me:

Hello, the week was nuts so they
just went out yesterday. Sorry about the small delay. Thanks again for your
- 69baby

And everyone knows that if an eBayer has '69' in their screen name, then they must be reputable.

p.s - I gave up trying to format this cruddy post. Apologies for the aesthetically unappealling alignment.

Humor Blogs checks it down.


UpsizeThis said...

Yep, it's becuase of game situations like that, that I don't play poker anymore. It's too much like work. If I felt like working, I've got a job for that, and it's guarunteed to pay me.

Tracy said...

See, I love to play poker but I don't have a good poker face. When I get a good hand I look like I'm so excited that I just might pee my pants.

Alice said...

Upsize - it is certainly aggravating as all getout, but I just love it!

Tracy - I'm good at keeping my face in line, but my heart just starts pounding away to the point where I'm convinved everyone can see it.

gizmorox said...

You've obviously never been to Hilton Head. People here have no understanding of the passing lane. Mostly because they're moron tourists. I'm a bit of a speed demon, so it's incredibly frustrating. It's the best when two people are going the same speed, right next to each other in the two lanes. That's my favorite.

UpsizeThis said...

Wouldn't you know it... Just after I leave my first comment, I go and play some online poker. Nothing's changed. The idiot's remain, just the names have changed.

That girl from Shallotte said...

On behalf of all my fellow North Carolina drivers, thanks for the love. We love you back and you're welcome to join our politely speeding pack any time.

I'd love to leave a witty poker comment, but poker, along with chess and football, is something people have been trying to explain to me for 38 years (born in the summer of '69, baby!), but I'll just never grasp.

Mary Witzl said...

You play poker? I am seriously impressed! If I could play poker, I wouldn't even mind not being able to play it well. It just sounds so cool.

As for the Maryland driving thing, if you have not checked out Ello's blog, then you must. Ello has very little patience with bad drivers to say the very least, and you and she would find much in common. I am driven WILD by drivers who hog the passing lane myself, though here in the U.K. it is the other way around -- the right lane is the fast lane.

Alice said...

Upsize - yeah - it's the same all over.

That Girl - I'm with you on football. I only vaguely understand the rules and truthfully, football games bore me to tears. And yet for some reason, you can stick me at a baseball game and I love it. Hmmm...

Mary - Don't be impressed by poker play. Any fool can throw their money into the pot. ; )

Am going to find this Ello's blog right now!

Hey It's Di said...

No worries about the sox. I seriously believe you with the Ebay stuff. I have run into shipping problems with people selling there also but you can get some great/cool finds. It's all good:)

I'm with Tracy on the poker thing. I just get too giddy with a good hand and can't seem to keep it to myself:(

Alice said...

I usually have really good experiences on eBay. Urgh. If they're not here by Wednesday, I'll just mail your other socks to you. Thanks for being so understanding. It actually kills me that I didn't get things done within the allotted time.


DIANA is one the nicest bloggers ever! I knew she'd understand. And you know what? A lot of sock exchange participants have e-mailed that they're running a few days late. It's all long as it doesn't turn bad and people get nothing. :)


My oldest daughter went though a hard-core hippie phase before settling into the blackness of her new EMO-ness. She had a bunch of tie-dye clothes and would listen to Peace Train over and over and over until I wished she would just climb aboard the Peace Train and disappear in a poof of patchouli scented smoke.


I only know how to play UNO. I wonder if they have UNO gambling tournaments?

Alice said...

Elastic - from the few pictures I've seen of your kids, I've not seen the Emo look. Now I have to go back and scrutinize.

And I say we make our own UNO tournament!

Me said...

My hubby and I grumble and groan every day about the drivers in Maryland and Northern Virginia. At least twice a day (usually on the Dulles Toll Road when we've had to slam on brakes for the 15th time) I declare my hatred for the way people drive and hurl expletives out the sun roof. Since we live in VA and work in MD, we get the pleasure of dealing with the Capital Beltway and the Toll Road twice a day! We drive back to Alabama several times a year, and you're right--it's a whole different ball game once you cross that state line into the "real" South.

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