Friday, May 16, 2008

Birthday Prep and a Fish Called Blinky

Alice's Back: (Heh heh heh...she'll be standing for the next three hours doing those cakes ...ready.... SPASM!!!)

Alice: Urghachhh! *rattle*rattle* SCORE! (swallows Tylenol w/ Codeine) Nothing can stop Cake Woman with the right pharmaceuticals! Leafeon and Lugia - I choose you! (Blackness indicates MSPaint and BoyChild's name and not an 'aw crap' moment.)

The conversation I will most likely be having tomorrow:

Alice: We need another nebulizer.

BlueCross/BlueShield: Why?

Alice: The motor burnt out on the other one.

BC/BS: But those things are made to last forever!

Alice: It burnt out. BoyChild had an asthma attack. Yeah. He was hooked up all night.

BC/BS: Why didn't you take him to the emergency room?

Alice: We thought it could handle the pool, I mean, the asthma.

BC/BS: Denied.

I spent a good 45 minutes trying to figure out why the pool wasn't inflating this morning. After careful investigation and maneuvering the cord 5 times - I happened to glance 6 inches to the right of the valve. Apparently those big HOLES indicate a place for air to escape. What I would need are the CAPS I had just manhandled and stared at when I removed the pool from the box.

And as requested - our very own Blinky. I seriously thought he was a floater until I poked him. (What is it about poking things with sticks that entertains me?! You'd think I was a man or something.) Best pic I could get as I believe the ducks have traumatized them into the slime abyss. They used to come up for food - but now, nothing.


Press Humor-Blogs if you love Blinky.


Tracy said...

Don't feel bad. We did the exact same thing with our pool last year. I think they should put a big sign on the box that tells you to put those caps on BEFORE trying to inflate the pool.
And that's a good looking pond you got there. :)

Kelly said...

Aww..poor Blinky..
Those cakes rock! Did you design them yourself? Thats cool, I would just throw a plastic toy for decoration on the damn thing and call it a day, I'm way lazy like that yo!
Btw..I hear ya on the beef jerky being stuck in your teeth..and it tickles your tongue and its waving like a flag in your mouth. Yeah that sucks.

Alice said...

Tracy - It was so sad that I held them in my hand and set them down and still couldn't figure things out.

Kelly - Thanks - I have my cake tricks which involve running pics off the computer and tracing. Don't worry, I'm plenty lazy in plenty other ways.

Kelly said...

Your blog cracks me up..I'm gonna add you to my blog roll..m'kay?

Half-Past Kissin' Time said...

That is so funny! I thought to myself, "Wow! That is a BIG MESS! How in the world is she going to decorate over that!? Thanks for the late night laugh :)

Half-Past Kissin' Time said...

P.S. Sorry, forgot to mention you are VERY talented in the cake department! Well done.

Diesel said...

Those fish are playing cards down there. Probably go fish.

Kimber said...

Dude, if you needed a pump for your pool, you totally could have borrowed mine. MAH BREAST PUMP! BWAAAH. Am kidding, you could have used AN actual pool pump, instead of sacrificing valuable medical equipment for the sake of an inflatable pool.
And HOLY FECK, you are the master of mad POKEMON cake skillz! I am so not showing my son this pic as he'd so demand one and I'd have to find a way to OD on prescription pills.
P.S. Am calling Home & Garden for you. Pond would make great centerfold.
P.P.S. The word verification letters for my comment are bmcupji, which is AWESOME.

Meg said...

When will BC/BS get with it. Our planet can no longer afford to produce a device such as a nebulizer for one purpose only.

I use mine to blow the dust and crumbs off my keyboard.

Bee said...

You are a super mom!

You know what I did for my sister's baby shower? I went to Costco AT THE LAST MINUTE and bought the only cake that didn't have Happy Birthday on it. It happened to be a wedding cake. My SIL and I just put pink little frosting dots and rattles with a few pacifiers and voila! baby shower cake! ;o)

Alice said...

Kelly - Thank you!

Kissin' Time - Don't let the cakes fool you - it's all about tracing from computer pics. And I've had incidents before that have come close to that black mess, like the time a whole layer crumbled to bits as I tried to put in on top ARRGHGHGHH

Diesel - *groan* ; ) ... or they're sleeping with the fishes.

Kimber - My mental image of your breast pump working my pond has me peeing. If only my MSPaint skillz matched my cake skillz - then I'd come up with a cool pic for that. ORRRRR....I could do a cake with the breast pump/pond thing... and photograph it for the blog ... yeah...

Meg - It's my way of caring.

Bee - We're all anxiously awaiting news of the baby shower! With cake pics. We had great weather for our party OUTSIDE - hope you did too!


I once made a Hello Kitty cake with a pink jelly bean for the nose.

I don't know, seeing your cakes is bringing out my fiercely competitive mommy side. I'm glad my sons are still into Legos and KNEX because sticking that crap all over the top of a cake for decoration makes my life pretty easy.


True Story:
Whenever I buy one of those massive floaty/inflatable things with a lot of plugs in it, I line up my kids in the living room and have them blow it up for me like they're a team of air donors.

They call their team 'The Huff And Puffs.'

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