Poker Woes

Damn you to hell Pokemon cards! Son of a buck - I actually pulled a tendon or whatever runs across the back of my right hand (muscle? vein? femur?) shuffling those stiff mothers. AND I’m playing poker tomorrow. AND my whole table image will be in the crapper if I can’t shuffle in my normal cool manner. How am I going to do tricks with my chips? OK…that’s a lie because I can’t do any tricks, but if I could…

I’ll console myself with the fact that no matter how lame my shuffling may be, it won’t even approach the players who feel compelled to wear a hat, mirrored sunglasses and their headphones. FOR GOD’S SAKE – IT’S A $50 TOURNAMENT IN SOUTHERN MARYLAND. IT’S NOT THE WORLD SERIES OF POKER! YOU DON’T LOOK COOL AND I’M GONNA ENJOY BUSTING YOUR ASS. Did you just say ‘kings over nines’? YEAH…WELL…I’LL BUST YOUR ASS AND YOUR I-POD NEXT TIME! Now excuse me so I can get my purse.

Just shut up or I'll bust your ass too Humor-Blogs!