Makin' Babies the Mayan Way

GirlChild has been pressuring me to reveal the secrets of makin' babies, but I'm not entirely sure I want to be the Mom responsible for details that could possibly spread through the preschool class.

I tried to throw out, "Oh..a man and woman get married and they have babies" but she was to savvy for that response. She's seen her own c-section pictures and knows it's a dirty business with more to it than that. "But HOW do they get the baby?" After trying to get her to ask Babycakes and throwing out words like EGG and SPERM, I broke down and grabbed the only reference book we have for makin' babies - a two-page spread in My First Encyclopedia that coincidentally also manages to evade how the egg and sperm actuallly hook up.

So we looked at the pictures that start off with a MASSIVE eyeball/Mayan sun-god egg surrounded by pointy-headed tadpole worshippers.

(Actual picture....and picture you walk away with.)












"...and then, GirlChild, the sperm rip out their still-beating hearts and offer them to the Great Golden Egg God, Kinich Ahau..."

GirlChild studied this for a bit and said, "I don't want any of them in me."

Good girl.

She must have been pondering the giant, man-eating tadpole sperm for several days, when in the Office Depot software aisle, she pipes up, "How do you NOT have a baby?"

Good girl.