Sunday, August 24, 2008

I'm Alive (Barely)

I'm so sorry folks. I had every intention of writing something witty this weekend about the hellish existence I've been living since last Friday.

Advice: After a seven year hiatus as a stay-at-home mom, DON'T take on a full time job teaching high school math a few days before school starts.

I don't want to see another piece of paper. Ever.

A highlight so as not to leave my peeps hanging: While carting approximately 300 lbs of Algebra text books (1 of 5 trips) to my classroom, a teacher in the hall stopped to say hello and then asked what I taught. I wiped the sweat from my brow and looked down at the cart of ALGEBRA books.

Math.

I teach math.

---------------------------

The students are OK.

I told them that if I catch them writing love notes - I CAN GUARANTEE IT WILL BE GOING VIRAL ON THE INTERNET WITHIN A WEEK.

Oh - an puh-leeze - I can live without seeing another freakin' Hollister shirt. How unoriginal.

Must go. Love you all. I miss you tons. Really! *weep*

39 Comments :

Manager Mom said...

So Captain Obvious missed the algebra textbooks, huh?

Glad that these types of sharp minds are educating the youth of America.

Sparkliesunshine said...

One of my really good friends teaches high school math. I always bring her up to my mom when I talk about going to the bar with friends. I mean, how much trouble can I get into with a math teacher. That's my logic anyway.

Good luck! Keep us posted.

Damn Hollister. I'm so not a fan.

Cassie said...

Aww we miss you too! Good luck with everything. And I'm thinking you're going to find love notes anyway, so I can't wait to read them! LOL

Meg said...

I'm living proof that a person can survive in the world without math skills. But I am happy The Husband, a math teacher, is around to do homework with the kids.

Keep us posted.

Cocotte said...

You are right on with the Hollister comment.......with A&F coming in at a close second. Good luck this week!

Kelly said...

Oh my..high school students...
I feel for ya..really I do.
Good luck and keep on posting..(when you can!)

oh and Hollister totally blows...bleh..

JenniBeanV said...

Hang in there...it gets better!

I'll be lugging books this week...

Tina said...

Hey, totally understand but miss you...can't wait to hear your classroom stories. I imagine you'll have plenty before long. Hang in there!

Hey It's Di said...

I'm sure glad to know that there are a few great math teachers out there. They are lucky to have you! I swear I took Algebra from the Football Coach and he sucked:(

Fortunately, math is my strong area and he didn't screw me up too badly.

YOU are a saint to take on high school kids + Math. It most cases that = disaster! BEST OF LUCK!

Hey It's Di said...

Oh let me clarify. I reread that as it was shooting off to you and I didn't want to make it sound like YOU teaching those kids is disaster. They are there without you! YOU ARE THEIR ONLY HOPE ALICE!

for a different kind of girl said...

Personally, I could do without seeing another Aeropostle shirt, too.

Also, it gives me a great sense of calm to know that there are teachers like the one who didn't see the obvious right in front if their face, screaming out 'ALGEBRA!!'

I am staring down the barrel of sixth grade math homework. Oh, that you weren't so busy I'd hound you constantly in an effort to make myself sound smart in front of my kid as I try to help him!

♥Shally said...

I am kinda jealous! I have always wanted to teach High School...

Sadly, I don't think my brain would let me now. :(

Kylie w Warszawie said...

I know this guy, Chris, he teaches high school math at my daughter's school:). No, actually I walked into his classroom to introduce myself and he wasn't there. Bummer. But I did totally embarrass my daughter when I saw his name and said, "I know this guy...where do I know him from?" Then I remembered and walked in, and Pamela asked where I knew him and I told her and she was like, "PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DO NOT TELL HIM THAT!"

But I will.

gadragonfly said...

Good luck this week sis!! Stay calm & good luck learning names.
Yea I'm real glad I am just past the age group for Hollister & Abercrombie. ick!
Can't wait to see the love notes.
Love you

Ellie said...

Hollister and Abercrombie. Do they not see THEY ALL DRESS EXACTLY ALIKE??

Philly said...

I am praying for you !

#1

Jess said...

GOOD LUCK in your teaching!! I had a really good Algebra teacher in high school...made me really enjoy the one subject I feared the most...math!

Thanks for all you do!!

Robyn said...

You should have said you taught particle physics. I don't even know if there is such a thing but that person wouldn't have known, either.

Thanks and good luck!

Jenn Thorson said...

Miss you, too, Alice! Been thinking about you, wondering how it's going, so thanks for this update.

Wishing you all the best,
Jenn

Jeff said...

I'm getting pretty tired of seeing "Hollister" and "Sexy" and "Pink" and whatever else across pre-teen girls' butts. I sure hope they don't allow that in school.

Soccer Mom In Heels said...

Dude, I feel your pain. Working sucks a little. I haven't blogged or even been on line for weeks either. This whole kid homework, bringing my own work home thing is all consuming. Good luck in your new adventure~ You will be great!

Suze said...

More importantly, did anyone bring you an apple?

Camille said...

Wow. Math. Another thing I had no idea about. The world needs more people like you.

TL in ATL said...

Way to go on the new job! I big sis teaches high school chemistry and I don't know how she does it--I didn't much care of h.s. students when I was in h.s.

VE said...

Can't you just call it "new new math" and have them watch You Tube videos like they do at home. Saves on work effort...

Bobbi said...

Hang in there, Alice - algebra teachers rock! Now, if I could only get my 16 yo to see that ... oh well. We've missed you!

LceeL said...

I miss you, as I am sure does everyone else.

MereCat said...

I'm just swooning over your ability to DO math, let alone teach it. Hang in there. We'll be here when you come up for air.

HappyHourSue said...

We miss you!!!! Join Twitter so you can just say hi every now and then!

Marinka said...

You never said there was going to be MATH!

Come back to us, stand back from the dark side!

MadMad said...

Aw, man! This is so exciting! Can't believe you're back at work. Someday, someday... me, too. While I can still remember what work is like. Love your Africa pics!

LceeL said...

I WANT MY ALICE !!!! once in a while ... please??

JD at I Do Things said...

Boy, my high school pranks would have been cut DRASTICALLY if viral Internet posting had been a threat way back when.

JD at I Do Things

That girl from Shallotte said...

Mr. Sweetypants reads books like "E, the Story of a Number," for pleasure. I had to go to a private college because I couldn't do math. So we both salute you. You will be the coolest teacher ever. I wish you'd been mine!

Chris Wood said...

Teaching is exhilarating isn't it? And colleagues NEVER say stupid things.

(eyes roll back in head, foam starts emerging from mouth)

Good luck with it all!

muskrat said...

you are missed! hope the holiday weekend is a good one for ya.

Sunshine said...

It is hard getting back into the swing of things, especially with kids. High school ... not sure how they rank with me... I am stuck with 8 and 9 year olds all day.. Have a great school year!

Mary Witzl said...

You know, if I were rich, I would hire you to come and teach me algebra, a subject I did miserably in during high school, despite the best efforts of my math-teaching mother. I'm betting that if anyone could make this fun, you could! I think your students are lucky.

Alice Wills Gold said...

we miss you too.

hope you are surviving.

lovin your take on HS...hollister shirts, huh? I don't even know what those are.

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