Monday, May 19, 2008

Weekender Plus Monday Slots Extravaganza

Sit back and hold tight - this weekend was a non-stop rollercoaster of excitement. You've already seen the remains of Delta Tau from the previous post.

Sunday was all about the Majestic Dawn Prerelease Pokemon Tournament where I discovered that the best possible way to have every boy from ages 8 to 18 follow after you like you had Shakira's ass and Dolly Parton's boobs was to find a Garchomp X in your new card pack. I've never been more popular in my life. The fellow in blue below has already promised me seven rares and I'm pretty sure I could get him to detail my car and babysit my kids.

I finished the tournament with a respectable 3-2 record and BoyChild went 1-3. The one game he won (pictured below) went into some sort of crazy-assed double overtime because they couldn't knock out each other's Pokemon.

Be nice to her BoyChild. She may be the only one who'll date you in high school.

I'd had two very full days at this point and passed out on Sunday evening. Monday morning at 7:00 am, Babycakes pokes me awake - "Aren't you going out with Kyra today?"


It is a testament to my exhaustion that I could forget about a day playing the slots - love of my life - second only to...well...nothing. Sorry Babycakes - if only you had a Bonus Round. I scramble for clothes, Babycakes throws his EZPass into my car and I rush out to pick up my companion in delinquency so we can head to Dover Downs in Delaware for a little slot action.

EZPass lets you slide on through the tolls without stopping, but I don't have the snazzy velcro on my windshield to hold it up. So when I get to the Bay Bridge toll I stick my arm out waving the EZPass around. Nothing. I'm more surprised that I didn't drop it and run it over. The lady in the booth just looked at me sadly and the short story is that we ended up throwing a couple bucks at her. Screw you EZPass.

The road to Dover Downs is pretty much all backroad farmland. I found the perfect place to get that commissioned meat sculpture I'd been wanting for the bedroom.

Once we arrived, Kyra and I spent a good six hours cycling money through the machines, having discussions like this:

Kyra: Woo Hoo - I just won 145 nickels!
Alice: How much is that?
Kyra: I don't know.

Alice: Those three leprechauns right there, that should be worth something, right?!?!

Kyra: I'm playing 'The Price Is Right' until I get the bonus Plinko round dammit.

In the end - it was a damned fine day at the slots because after a full six hours - Kyra left with an extra $1.10 and I was only down $9.40. FANTABULOUS! Best finish EVER!

On the ride home, we found these words of wisdom about how God is similar to items from Wal-Mart.

We stopped at Holly's for a bite to eat and successfully filled out all 50 states with their capitals on the paper placemat while we waited. We also had mucho tea and some dessert. My pie is gone and I hope that the picture is bad enough that you can't see my tongue streaks on the plate. I also hope the picture is bad enough that you can't see where we had to fudge some of the state capitals.

My only regret from dinner is that I wasn't able to record the woman at the next table go on a 10 minute spiel about her love for Honey Wheat Bread. True story.


Play All Lines Max Bet for the Humor-Blogs Bonus Round


Bee said...

So my computer went nutso...

Here is my comment again.

I've only been to the slots once. I lost 50 bucks and cried because I was only 21 and knew I wouldn't have money for the bar later. ;op

Alice said...

Bee - if it's any consolation, I usually cry a lot too after I visit the slots.

jennie said...

Now that looks like a fun day. I'm mostly sorry that I missed the verbal essay on loving honey wheat bread. I like it, but I could only spill out probably 3 sentences to describe my feelings about it. Obviously I have a lot to learn.

Tracy said...

You should send those church signs to Crummy Church Signs. They're funny.
I've never understood the slots but I'm one hell of a better when it comes to horseracing!

Alice said...

Jennie - if you can't wax on for at least 5 minutes, then I'd say you're really NOT a big a fan of the Honey Wheat as you think you are. ; )

Tracy - I thought about sending them in, but then figured I'd horde all that bloggy goodness to myself. They have a track at Dover Downs too, but I've never been to the races there.

Meg said...

Sounds like fun! And judging by the gaming photo, a profitable business opportunity to sell bottled water to participants.

Jenn Thorson said...

"Custom Slaughterin'"-- I gotta get me somma that. :)

And ya know,you are one COOL mom for doing this Pokemon Extravaganza. Seriously.

Pace yourself on spending all those nickels...

Kyra said...

And it was all topped off by us making a scene cause I won 1000X on the big wheel for wheel of fortune - people staring and us jumping - only for us to do out nickel math and figure it out to be $50. So sad that we were once math people...

I will road trip and gamble with you any time my hookey partner in crime.

Alice said...

Meg - It was fun - and watery!

Jenn - The slots aren't as fun as they used to be since they switched to paper. There's nothing like the jangle of hundreds of nickles popping out of the machine and trying to get them all into a large plastic cup.

Kyra - It was the funnest day evah! I'm revving my engines for a date in July!

Mary Witzl said...

Oh wow -- a woman waxing lyrical about her love for honey wheat bread? That'll have been my sister, I'm guessing.

How I miss that kind of restaurant. Where they have desserts like that and people whose conversations you can overhear. Sigh.

Mary Witzl said...

And those church signs are great!

Sue said...

Whatever you do, don't factor in the gas cost to and from the slot machines.

Lori said...

Gotta love those nickel slots! Last time we went gambling, my hubby hit a nickel slot for +$90 and while waiting for the person to come cash it out, he moved over to the next one and hit for +$110!!

I'm impressed with the state and their capitals thing. Most Americans can't name all 50 states, much less their capitals!

I also thought (at first glance) that the pastor's last name had been changed to "Dora is high" on the church sign.

Kelly said...

Honey wheat bread..haha thats classic...
The church signs are a good laugh..I mean really..alka seltzer? I guess your suppose to relate God to upset stomach, diarrhea, indegestion and heartburn...
gotta love it!

Alice said...

Mary - I'm guessing your sister isn't pushing 350 and probably shouldn't be eating honey wheat bread anyway! And I did like the restaurant - very down home with pie in a display case.

Sue - you NEVER factor in anything but the actual slots. Like the lunch and the beers...

Lori - I love those wins when you're like 'eh'..just need to kill time while my sister's in the john. Woo hoo!! Score!

Kelly - it was SOOO bizarre. I honestly was wondering how her spouse(?) could sit there and listen to that.

JD at I Do Things said...

"Sorry Babycakes - if only you had a Bonus Round."


Post a Comment