Monday, March 31, 2008

Kenyan Digs

“I had a farm in Africa at the foot of the Ngong Hills…”

Yes, Meryl Streep had some sweet digs in Kenya. I had some pretty cool digs myself.

There was this sweet foot and a half drop from the front porch and a family of bats in my roof tiles. It was almost like having a flat-screen TV mounted right over your bed. A flat screen TV that shits, that is.

Lucky for me, my mosquito net managed to capture most of it before hitting my bed. Mosquito nets are funny in the way that you actually need something to tie them to. Which is hard when your house is made from cinder blocks. Which is why mine looks like some jury-rigged sail made from used army fatigues on a banana boat. But this is a good thing, because I’ve now got a place to dry my clothes!

Wow! Die Martha Stewart! Look at how clean those socks are! (FYI – Visitor socks, NOT my socks.) This pic was apparently before my bras spontaneously disintegrated. Two years of sweat and body funk left me with little more than some underwire and a clasp.

Speaking of Martha and thinking of my friend Robin’s colonial garden – look at the rich, dark soil in my “flower bed”. I may even want to throw out the terms “loam” and “compost” and “quotation marks”.

Those plants were good for a hardiness zone of EQUATOR or “dry sucky” as the US Department of Agriculture might say. These specimens were especially hardy since they were only treated to water that had previously been used to clean me, then some clothes and finally dishes. I’m fairly confident the laundry detergent contributed to their success in a little game called survival-of-the-fittest (a favorite in the dry-sucky region).


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